Jack Handey
American comedian
Jack Handey
Jack Handey is an American humorist. He is best known for his Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, a large body of surrealistic one-liner jokes, as well as his "Fuzzy Memories" and "My Big Thick Novel" shorts. Although many people assume otherwise, Handey is a real person, not a pen name or character.
Biography
Jack Handey's personal information overview.
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News
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Rodgers tweets hot take about free range chickens
USA Today - almost 2 years
The quarterback is likely quoting Jack Handey.           
Article Link:
USA Today article
Yes, You Can Make Fortune Cookies at Home
Huffington Post - about 3 years
Every other week on Food52, Anna Hezel talks about the innovations, decorations, and other quiet touches that make a party memorable. Today: A nutty take on fortune cookies that you can make at home and fill with your own fortunes. Everybody should spend at least one week of their lives making dumplings. Over the course of a few days, what once seemed complicated and mysterious becomes second nature. When Gabriella and I decided to have a dumpling party, we knew it was an ambitious idea. We also knew that with a little work in the week leading up to the party, the party itself would be easy and delicious. We dedicated a work week night to each type of dumpling we were making, froze them, stocked up on cheap utensils from a restaurant supply store, and the day of the party, all we needed to do was steam, fry, and have a nice time. After you've folded 250 dumplings, making fortune cookies is a walk in the park. But even if you haven't made 250 dumplings, making your own fortune c ...
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Huffington Post article
Taran Killam Tells Us About The New 'SNL' Season: 'It's Such A Positive Energy'
Huffington Post - over 3 years
As it enters its 39th season, "Saturday Night Live" has likely encountered more peaks and valleys than any other entertainment property, period. So it makes sense that the announcement that "SNL" will be adding six -- count 'em, six -- new cast members would be met with widespread curiosity: Will the show survive such drastic upheaval? Of course it will, according to "SNL" player Taran Killam. With three seasons under his belt, Killam is now one of the more senior cast members on the show, and his impressions (his Brad Pitt and Piers Morgan earned high praise) and original characters (Mokiki, anyone?) have led some to name him one of the most promising young comedians of his class. But his credentials extend beyond "SNL": This summer alone, he appeared in the action/comedy blockbuster "The Heat" as a (spoiler) fresh-faced villain, announced that he will write a comic book, and voiced a character in "The Awesomes," an animated Hulu show created by his soon-to-be-departing "SNL" co-s ...
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Huffington Post article
Jack Handey Revels In 'The Stench of Honolulu'
NPR - over 3 years
"Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey was an icon of Saturday Night Live in the 1990's. Now Jack Handey has written a novel, "The Stench of Honolulu." He talks to host Rachel Martin about the book, his time on SNL, and his philosophy on comedy. » E-Mail This     » Add to Del.icio.us
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NPR article
Jack Handey Is the Envy of Every Comedy Writer in America
NYTimes - over 3 years
The man behind “Deep Thoughts” and the quest for the one true joke.     
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NYTimes article
Jack Handey Is Back With More Deep Thoughts
Huffington Post - over 3 years
Jack Handey, the humorist behind those brilliant "Deep Thoughts" from back in the day on "Saturday Night Live," is back with his first novel, "The Stench Of Honolulu." And according to these animated promos on Funny Or Die, Handey's thoughts are even deeper than ever. Watch the first animated short, "The Nickname," above and the second (much, much darker) one below. For more Handey, check out his Shouts & Murmurs pieces over at The New Yorker. WATCH: "The Pirate" Jack Handey - The Pirate from Jack Handey
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Huffington Post article
Counterparties: We know what the fiscal deal will look like
Reuters.com - over 4 years
Welcome to the Counterparties email. The sign-up page is here, it’s just a matter of checking a box if you’re already registered on the Reuters website. Send suggestions, story tips and complaints to Counterparties.Reuters@gmail.com. The fiscal cliff has already found at least one victim, the WSJ reports: “half of the nation’s 40 biggest publicly traded corporate spenders have announced plans to curtail capital expenditures this year or next”. Investors and small business owners, the NYT reports, are worried about about things like higher capital gains taxes — one lawyer says he’s never seen such a “flood of desire and action to transfer a business and cash out”. For big companies, meanwhile, there’s $150 billion worth of corporate tax breaks to fret about. Tim Geithner, on the other hand, apparently isn’t terribly concerned about the fiscal cliff (or any of austerity’s other “thousand tortured metaphors”): he says a deal is “doable within several weeks”. Politico’s Ben White sur ...
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Reuters.com article
Peter McGraw and Joel Warner: Who Has a Bigger Funny Bone: Democrats or Republicans?
The Huffington Post - over 4 years
However you slice and dice the presidential candidates' performances at the three debates, there's little question that Barack Obama won on the comedy front. Before the second debate was even over, an Internet meme had sprung up around challenger Mitt Romney's clumsy claim that he'd sought out "binders full of women" to fill his cabinet when he was governor of Massachusetts. Another meme emerged last week out of Obama's comical skewering of Romney's concern about the shrinking size of the U.S. Navy: "You mention the Navy, for example, and the fact that we have fewer ships than we did in 1916," Obama said. "Well governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets. We have these things called aircraft carriers and planes land on them. We have ships that go underwater, nuclear submarines." Within minutes, a "Horses and Bayonets" Tumblr was up and running. Comical scoreboard: Democrats 2, Republicans 0. The results bolster the assumption that in this country, liberals h ...
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The Huffington Post article
Tullian Tchividjian: You Believe In Karma
Huffington Post - over 4 years
"Good people get good stuff. Bad people get bad stuff." Or as the Beatles sang with their last gasp on Abbey Road, "In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Now I love John, Paul, George and Ringo, but I take issue with them here, and I know I am in the minority. After all, the world runs on retribution. "This for that" comes as naturally to us as breathing. Moralists interpret misfortune as the karmic result of misbehavior. This for that. "You failed to obey God, so He gave your child an illness." Such rule-based economies of punishment and reward may be the default mode of the fallen human heart, but that doesn't make them any less brutal! This does not mean that sin doesn't have consequences. If you blow all of your money on booze, you will likely reap poverty, loneliness and cirrhosis of the liver. Simple cause and effect. But to conclude that suffering people have somehow heaped up trouble for themselves on the Cosmic Registry and that God is do ...
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Huffington Post article
What's The Deepest Question Your Kid Has Ever Asked?
Huffington Post - over 4 years
Has your son or daughter ever ask a question so unexpected it stopped you right in your tracks? Or come up with a statement so deep, you think you've found the next Jack Handey? When Reddit user thinwhiteduke99's daughter approached him with an existential inquiry -- asking, "How do I know that I'm real and not just a dream of someone else?" -- he took to the Internet to share the moment and ask other parents "what other surprisingly deep questions" their kids had posed. Whether you try to give a thoughtful answer -- or simply give up, hoping your child won't go on demanding explanations you don't have -- these moments aren't easily forgotten. Check out some of the best quotes shared on thinwhiteduke99's Reddit thread in the slideshow below, and then tell us: What are the deepest thoughts and questions your child has come out with? Tweet your answers to @HuffPostParents using the hashtag #deepkidthoughts and we'll add them to the slideshow.
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Huffington Post article
Thinking of Animal Rights on Father's Day
Evolution News And Views - over 4 years
Yesterday was Father's Day. For a present in recognition of my fathering, I didn't want a Kindle Fire. I just wanted to see the orangutans, nature's comedians, at Seattle's Woodland Park Zoo. After an Indiana Jones-like expedition through the zoo's artificial jungle, we finally located the well-hidden orangutan exhibit. Unfortunately, by then the orangutans had covered themselves up head to foot under burlap blankets and drifted off to sleep. I was sad. On the way home I thought about the lives of plants and animals. I grew sadder. Should we really keep our orangutan cousins locked up like that? They're so funny! They think they're people! And they are people, you know, people in fur coats. This you'd expect since we branched off from them so recently in evolutionary history. And rabbits. Who doesn't like rabbits? Do rabbits get anxious in the face of lipstick testing? I know I would. We really shouldn't let the suits and lab coats poke at them so much. ...
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Evolution News And Views article
Don’t Stop The Presses – column name conundrum
Hometown Source - almost 5 years
By Derrick Knutson, associate editor  A few weeks ago, my editor, MaryHelen, prompted me to come up with a title for my column. She’s got “Sunday Night” and “Here’s The Thing.” As of the start of this column, I’ve got nothing. I thought coming up with a title for the random jumble of thoughts I occasionally throw together in the form of a column would be a fairly simple affair, but it’s proven to be more difficult than I had imagined. The problem? I’m stuck on how I’m going to settle on two to four words that at least somewhat encompass the gist of my thoughts. Through the process of writing this column, I plan to come up with a title for it and future columns, however difficult that might be. When I first started seriously thinking about this task, I contemplated combining my name with a word or phrase for the title. Here’s a few possibilities I was thinking of: “RiDerrickulous,” “The Derrection,” or perhaps, “Derr it is.” Then I remembered how much it bothers me that giga ...
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Hometown Source article
Doing Pratfalls In The Theater Of The Absurd - Patch.com
Google News - over 5 years
Jack Handey I have a dilemma. It's rainy, cloudy and dreary outside, but that isn't actually my real dilemma; it's merely a contributing factor. My real dilemma is that it's also rainy, cloudy and dreary inside – in my head. I'm not quite with it today
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Google News article
Morning paper: Replacing a very important Tree - Columbus Ledger-Enquirer
Google News - over 5 years
... a little less ostentaciously in the future. Inspirational quote of the day: "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, then you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes." - Jack Handey (a la Saturday Night Live
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Google News article
Hammer Time: The Real Rock Stars - Truth About Cars (blog)
Google News - over 5 years
This and hundreds of other 'Jack Handey' car questions would go through my head as I inspected each one of the vehicles. My goal was simple. Make as much money as possible at the auction so that the poor fellow who lost his car would have as small of a
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Google News article
Why the Post-Industrial Landscape Works as Places of Play - Rust Wire
Google News - over 5 years
And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh. ~Nietzsche Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. ~Jack Handey, “Deep Thoughts,” Saturday Night
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Google News article
The Following Opinions Are Offered Free Of Charge - And Worth Every Penny! - Patch.com
Google News - over 5 years
Jack Handey, 'Deep Thoughts', Saturday Night Live. It seems I created quite a stir last week. My column, I'm Mad As Hell And I'm Not Going To Take It Anymore, received seventy-eight comments. I'm not certain, but that may be an all-time record for
Article Link:
Google News article
Caption This 8-19-11 David Yost talks with James Franklin - Rock M Nation (blog)
Google News - over 5 years
Jack Handey by JGorilla55 on Aug 19, 2011 9:11 AM CDT reply actions by hebegb on Aug 19, 2011 9:18 AM CDT reply actions and i know it's been mentioned numerous times, but that is seriously not a good look for coach yost. "My friend! My friend!
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Google News article
(Click on the weather icon above right for extended forecasts and more details.) - Lake Chelan Mirror
Google News - over 5 years
Jack Handey POP TRIVIA QUESTION: What Irish-built sports car flew off the assembly line for two years before the company busted? (Answer below BIRTHDAYS) • 216 BC Hannibal Barca wins his greatest victory over the Romans at Cannae
Article Link:
Google News article
Timeline
Learn about memorable moments in the evolution of Jack Handey
    LATE_ADULTHOOD
  • 2013
    Age 63
    On July 16, 2013 Handey's first novel, The Stench of Honolulu, was released.
    More Details Hide Details Handey was born in San Antonio, Texas, in 1949. His family later moved to El Paso, Texas, where Handey attended Eastwood High School (where he was editor of Sabre, the school newspaper) and the University of Texas at El Paso. Jack Handey lives with his wife, Marta Chavez Handey, in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Previously, the Handeys had lived in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan, New York City.
  • FIFTIES
  • 2008
    Age 58
    In early April 2008, Handey published his first collection of magazine humor pieces, "What I'd Say to the Martians and Other Veiled Threats".
    More Details Hide Details The Associated Press critic Jake Coyle wrote, "With absurdist musings such as these, Handey has established himself as the strangest of birds: a famous comedian whose platform is not the stage or screen, but the page." Handey subsequently became a regular contributor to The New Yorker Shouts and Murmurs section.
  • 2001
    Age 51
    Other Handey creations that appeared on SNL include the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, "Fuzzy Memories" which depicted reenactments of a twisted childhood memory and aired in the late 1990s, and the short-lived "My Big Thick Novel", which were spoken excerpts from a very long book in the style of "Deep Thoughts" and which aired during the 2001–03 seasons of SNL.
    More Details Hide Details Handey is also credited with creating Toonces, the cat who could drive a car, although badly ("See, I told you he could drive! Just not very well!"). The recurring skit originated in 1989 with Steve Martin and Victoria Jackson as the crash-prone kitty's owners. In 1992 NBC aired a half-hour Toonces special. Handey, who owned a real cat by the same name, once said he could not remember exactly how he dreamed up the premise. He said, "It was just one of those free association ideas you write down and look at later and think, 'Maybe.
  • THIRTIES
  • 1989
    Age 39
    Between 1989 and 1990, Deep Thoughts were shown during commercial breaks on The Comedy Channel with Handey's narration.
    More Details Hide Details Between 1991 and 1998, Saturday Night Live included Deep Thoughts on the show as an interstitial segment between sketches. Introduced by Phil Hartman and read live by Handey (neither actually appeared on screen), the one-liners proved to be extremely popular. Hartman would intone "And now, Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey ", and peaceful easy listening music would play while the screen showed soothing pastoral scenes, much like a New Age relaxation video. Handey would then read the Deep Thought as the text to it scrolled across the screen. They became an enduring feature of SNL, which often had multiple Thoughts in each episode, and made Handey a well-known name.
  • 1984
    Age 34
    In April 1984, National Lampoon published the first of Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts.
    More Details Hide Details Additional Deep Thoughts appeared in the October and November 1984 editions as well as in the short-lived comedy magazine Army Man, while more appeared in 1988 in The Santa Fe New Mexican. The one-liners were to become Handey's signature work, notable for their concise humor and their outlandish hypothetical situations. For example: Handey's work next showed up in the Michael Nesmith-produced TV series Television Parts in the format which would later become famous on Saturday Night Live (though in Television Parts, Nesmith provided the narration). Some of these segments appeared in the compilation video of that program, Doctor Duck's Super Secret All-Purpose Sauce.
  • 1980
    Age 30
    For several years Handey worked on other television projects: the Canadian sketch series Bizarre in 1980; the 1980 TV special Steve Martin: Comedy Is Not Pretty; and Lorne Michaels' short-lived sketch show on NBC called The New Show in 1984.
    More Details Hide Details Handey returned to Saturday Night Live in 1985 as a writer.
  • CHILDHOOD
  • 1949
    Born
    Born on February 25, 1949.
    More Details Hide Details
Original Authors of this text are noted here.
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