Grief and Shame: An Unacceptable Combination
Huffington Post - about 1 year
A dear friend is killed in a car accident. A few months later, I don't feel that I've sufficiently "gotten over it" and people start telling me to move on. So I hide my grief, push my chin up and allow the cataclysm inside of me to tremble in perpetuity.
I have a seizure. I don't get better immediately, and I find myself wading through a cesspool of confusion and exhaustion. People are helpful at first, but after a while, many seem to stop caring, so I pretend that my epilepsy doesn't exist and tuck its terrors deep inside of me.
I am abused by someone who claimed to be my friend. Since I can't possibly understand why he would ever hurt me, I convince myself it's my fault and act as if everything is hunky dory.
Sound familiar? If so, it means you've experienced one of the most lethal, pervasive desecrations of humanity: shame in the wake of grief.
It's a terrible, stupid and completely unacceptable combination, but it's everywhere.
When I hear people speak about their gr
Huffington Post article