I knew something was up early Monday morning when I saw Harrison’s personal stylist, Stefanio, nervously hovering around the kitchen, frantically trying to stuff as many packets of Gogurt into his handbag as possible (I’m on to you, Stefanio). It’s rare to see Harrison’s stylist in the office so early; whatever look Harrison was going for apparently required some time. This worried me deeply.
I must warn you that what you are about to see is highly disturbing. Small children and pregnant women should close out of their browsers, turn off their computers, walk to the hardware store, purchase a cordless drill, walk back home, drill large holes into the computer monitor until it starts on fire, walk back to the hardware store, tell the cashier that the drill didn’t work and you would like a refund (this is a lie, but you are only going to be using the thing once), present receipt to the cashier, get the money back, walk to a nearby grocery store, use the money to purchase some delicious Funfetti™ cake mix, go home and follow the directions on the back of the box, bake the cake, eat the cake and forget this ever happened.
You’ve been warned.
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