{"id":12939,"date":"2017-06-01T09:23:23","date_gmt":"2017-06-01T17:23:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/?p=12939"},"modified":"2022-09-09T09:11:19","modified_gmt":"2022-09-09T17:11:19","slug":"are-you-the-victim-of-a-home-wrecker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/are-you-the-victim-of-a-home-wrecker\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You the Victim of a Home Wrecker?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Mate poaching, homewrecking, boyfriend-stealing &#8211; it\u2019s a phenomenon that\u2019s been around for a long time, but now research shows that up to <a href=\"http:\/\/tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com\/2009\/08\/13\/do-single-women-seek-attached-men\/?_r=0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">90% of women are attracted to married men<\/a>. Why are women so attracted to married men? There are some theories but no real answers.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the science on mate-poaching and how to tell if youe man is falling for a homewrecker.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Mate Copying and Mate Poaching<\/h3>\n<p>There are two ideas that are related but very, very different. The idea of mate <em>copying<\/em> is a well documented idea in science. It has been observed in all sorts of animals, from wolves and monkeys to people. Mate copying is easy to understand.<\/p>\n<p>Imagine your friend is dating a guy. You don\u2019t really care about him one or the other &#8211; at first. But after spending some time around them, you start to notice his great qualities. Maybe it\u2019s his laugh, or how quick he is with a joke. And you realize, even if it is subconsciously, that he\u2019s got to be a catch because <em>your <\/em>friend likes him and you\u2019re a lot like your friend. You don\u2019t really pay attention to the fact that the next guy you date is quick with a joke and has a similar laugh.<\/p>\n<p>This is called mate copying, but if you start to take time to actually <em>steal him away<\/em> then you\u2019ve crossed the line into mate <em>poaching.<\/em><\/p>\n<h3 style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Are Married Men More Appealing?<\/h3>\n<p>The short answer is: you\u2019ve done the hard work of pre-screening a man to make sure he\u2019s marrying material. The ironic thing is, most women that are mate-poaching aren\u2019t looking for a husband &#8211; they\u2019re looking for something between a fling and a no-strings-attached lover.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Married men have proven they can handle commitment.<\/li>\n<li>Married men are more likely to be healthy, employed, and confident.<\/li>\n<li>A woman doesn\u2019t have to answer to a married man and explain why she\u2019s spending time with other guys.<\/li>\n<li>Married people are more likely be confident and compassionate.<\/li>\n<li>If he has kids, he\u2019s proven he can be a good father &#8211; a major turn on.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3 style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is He Cheating On You?<\/h3>\n<p>If your husband or boyfriend is getting a lot of attention from one woman, you are probably right to be worried. Is he actually doing anything about it? That\u2019s the real question. If 9 out of 10 women are attracted to taken men, you\u2019re no doubt going to face some competition if you\u2019re in a committed relationship.<\/p>\n<p>You can be direct and just ask him, and see how he responds. Or you can find one of those numbers on his phone (or phone bill) and use a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/reverse-phone-lookup\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">reverse lookup tool<\/a> to see who the number belongs too. If it\u2019s someone you don\u2019t know, maybe there\u2019s something going on.<\/p>\n<p>He might be trying to keep a mate poacher from you not because he\u2019s cheating, but because it is embarrassing, confusing, and awkward. Those 90 percent of women that like a married man? Well, only 59% wanted the <em>same man<\/em> when they found out he was single.<\/p>\n<p>Your man might be as confused as you are &#8211; he\u2019s suddenly desirable and the only thing that changed was you.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What to Do If You\u2019re Being Targeted by a Mate Poacher<\/h3>\n<p>Don\u2019t ignore it, don\u2019t let it go. Talk to your husband or boyfriend, even confront the would be hunter. What might start as flirting can turn into something else if it goes too far &#8211; and it almost always will.<\/p>\n<p>Men aren\u2019t immune to the effects of a ring either, and they\u2019re <a href=\"http:\/\/www.dailymail.co.uk\/femail\/article-3687062\/The-eight-reasons-90-women-fall-MARRIED-man.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">more likely to act on it<\/a>. In the end, affairs rarely work out. People are people, not fantasies &#8211; no one can live up to their own imaginary selves. If you think something is budding between your husband or boyfriend and another woman, don\u2019t ignore the warning signs &#8211; be proactive and protect your relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mate poaching, homewrecking, boyfriend-stealing &#8211; it\u2019s a phenomenon that\u2019s been around for a long time, but now research shows that up to 90% of women are attracted to married men.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":13588,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[616,618],"tags":[302,158],"class_list":["post-12939","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-how-to","category-relationships-advice-how-to","tag-dating-advice","tag-online-dating"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Are You the Victim of a Home Wrecker? 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