{"id":15966,"date":"2018-03-30T09:49:47","date_gmt":"2018-03-30T17:49:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/?p=15966"},"modified":"2022-04-13T12:14:48","modified_gmt":"2022-04-13T20:14:48","slug":"military-cheating-during-deployment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/military-cheating-during-deployment\/","title":{"rendered":"What Makes MilSos Cheat? Reasons for Adultery in the Military"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you’re in the military or married to a soldier, you already know how hard marriage can be. The divorce rate for female military personnel<\/a> is double that of male personnel. And cheating during deployment<\/a> on the part of both spouses isn’t uncommon thanks to isolation, stress and communication barriers.<\/p>\n

So, what puts a relationship at risk for cheating<\/a> during deployment? Lots, but here are a few of the most common:<\/p>\n

Communication Problems<\/h2>\n

The distance of deployment puts a huge strain on communication. Military couples both love and hate Skype because it’s the lifeline of their relationship. Sometimes all they have is a shared satellite phone or old-fashioned letter writing. Many take advantage of every social media platform that they can.<\/a>\u00a0It’s recommended to try to communicate at least once a day<\/a>.\"A<\/p>\n

According to relationship expert Rhonda Milrad<\/a>, it’s important not only to keep communicating, but to be strategic about what you communicate.\u201cIt\u2019s really important to share with your partner, what\u2019s meaningful to them, not what\u2019s meaningful to you,\u201d says Milrad. Regular, meaningful communication can reduce any jealousy that the civilian spouse might feel towards those in whom his or her soldier confides during stressful events.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, if you’re a civilian milso, don’t stuff your feelings about whatever is happening at home. When talking to your serviceman or servicewoman, share about your feelings and life. If you don’t, it can lead to feeling like your life doesn’t matter to your service member milso, which can in turn create\u00a0the desire to seek out someone to whom it does<\/a>.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t the distance. It wasn\u2019t that my husband was gone for so long. It was that he took my identity from me. He made me into His Wife instead of my own person. My husband is a great man and at the end of the day, I just couldn\u2019t make the sacrifice I needed to make to be his wife. I\u2019m not sure I\u2019d hope any woman\u00a0could<\/em>\u00a0lose herself so completely, and be okay with that.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lack of Emotional Support<\/h2>\n

Both civilian milsos as well as the deployed loved ones need a strong emotional support network. Because when things get tough, it’s easy to turn to someone who’s not your spouse<\/a> for support:<\/p>\n

IED explosion, rocket attacks, deaths, etc. I wasn\u2019t married yet, just engaged, but I thought after a convoy that I was going to die. Called my family, my fianc\u00e9, no one answered. Turned to my battle buddy. [It was] vulnerability. We shared a traumatic experience. Doesn\u2019t make it right, but it happened. We stayed friends.\u00a0\u2014 Maria, 27, Marine Corps<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Keeping a strong network can be an especially difficult challenge with Permanent Change of Station (PCS) moves<\/a>, which force you into\u00a0a completely new environment where you don’t know anyone.<\/p>\n

Friends, family and the unit’s family readiness group<\/a> form the base of your network, of course. But you can add lots of online resources such as:<\/p>\n