Anyone who has ever changed schools as a kid understands how important it is to build rapport with a new group of people. Whether those people are potential clients, your colleagues or the other members of your new committee, your ability to establish a personal bond will help determine the success of your relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Part of the process is drawing people out and learning what makes them tick. There are many useful rapport-building questions you can use for that purpose, but using them effectively will usually require some advance research. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you\u2019re about to spend time with someone for professional reasons, either as a colleague or a potential client, the logical place to begin is on LinkedIn<\/a>. You\u2019ll find basics such as their schools and work history, and you can infer some things about them from what they share, write and re-post. Look for industry events they\u2019ve attended; if you\u2019ve been there as well (or your company has) it\u2019s something to leverage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As your next step you could<\/em> search your potential contact across multiple social media sites and other public venues, but it\u2019s easier and more efficient to use Spokeo\u2019s dedicated people search tools<\/a>. You already know your contact\u2019s name and employer, and LinkedIn would have furnished an employment history and schools, so you should have no difficulty identifying which search results apply to the person you\u2019re researching. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Make a point of doing multiple searches: Use variations on your contact\u2019s name; and search emails, physical addresses and phone numbers, if you have them. The combined search results should give you a wealth of information on your contact, from their presences on social media and special interest forums to personal contact information. It will likely represent more information than you can \u2014 or should \u2014 use. <\/p>\n\n\n\n At this point it\u2019s important to remember that collecting information is not your goal, it\u2019s using that information unobtrusively to help your contact feel at ease with you. Restraint is crucial, otherwise you risk coming off as creepy or downright unethical. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Consider the context, and the source of your information. If your contact is new in the position and moved for the job, it\u2019s completely appropriate to ask how they\u2019re settling in (and to offer suggestions about the new community). If you only know they\u2019ve moved because a Spokeo search turned up the property records, find something else to talk about. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s not rocket science. Just ask yourself, \u201cIf a random stranger knew this much about me, would I be creeped out?\u201d and guide yourself accordingly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n With your preliminary research in place, you can begin to plan out a list of rapport-building questions (or good networking questions, as the case may be). Prepare in advance, covering different topics. That way you can roll with whichever direction the conversation goes and not have to perceptibly steer it to a specific topic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, if your contact has posted recently about a major initiative at their workplace you might ask things like: If you\u2019ve seen similar initiatives come and go in the past, frame the question in terms of your own personal experience. You might revise the pushback question, for example: <\/p>\n\n\n\n We had a similar initiative when I was at [company], and we really struggled to get IT on board. Do you find you\u2019re getting that kind of pushback?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Has your contact recently been to an industry event that you also attended or where your (or their) company was represented? That opens the door to a number of possible questions: <\/p>\n\n\n\n If something noteworthy happened at the event, the kind of thing that everyone would definitely remember, build a specifically situational question around that. Obviously, you\u2019ll tailor the question to the situation: If your contact is relatively new in their current position, and especially if it\u2019s a departure for them, that can be a fruitful avenue to pursue: <\/p>\n\n\n\n No matter how prepared you are, sitting down with someone and rapping out a barrage of questions will feel forced and unnatural and maybe even oppressive. It\u2019s especially counterproductive if you\u2019re in sales, and you\u2019re the umpteenth person to walk in with the same list of questions cribbed from a sales training blog<\/a>. Remember, the goal is to be engaging. The opportunity to ask questions with a meaningfully personal element is why<\/em> you did the research. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You may also find it helpful to draw rapport-building tips from fields outside the narrow confines of sales or professional networking. For example, health care professionals and therapists are highly motivated to establish rapport with their patients or clients \u2014 it can literally be a question of life and death \u2014 so you may find you\u2019re able to adapt principles from those professions to suit yours. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Most importantly, allocate time after every meeting to take thorough notes. After doing the work of crafting and using good rapport-building questions, make a point of recording which ones resonated and which did not (and, most especially, the answers you received). Whatever points you\u2019ve gained will be lost if you forget the answers or repeat yourself on the next visit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Even if you don\u2019t have the outgoing personality of a natural-born networker (assuming there is such a thing), you can<\/em> network and build relationships effectively. The key is empathetic listening: not just making a tick on a mental clipboard, but engaging with the other person and listening for the personality that underlies the answers. If you do, you should find points of contact you can build on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A famously extreme example is the case of musician Daryl Davis<\/a>, a Black man who made it his project to find common ground with members of the KKK. If he could find success in such an adversarial context, there\u2019s no reason you can\u2019t do it in a normal business setting. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Anyone who has ever changed schools as a kid understands how important it is to build rapport with a new group of people. Whether those people are potential clients, your…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":112,"featured_media":23434,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[612],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23112","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-guides"],"yoast_head":"\nDrawing the Line<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Appropriate Rapport-Building Questions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Were you still there when the storm closed the airport, or were you one of the lucky ones who got out early? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Moving is a near-universal experience, so if your contact moved to take up the current job \u2014 or if they\u2019ve mentioned a move publicly \u2014 this serves as a potential point of contact: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What\u2019s the best thing about your new neighborhood so far? <\/li>Building Rapport Requires a Bit of Finesse<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Anyone Can Do This<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
References:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n