Starting to date again as a mature adult is a pretty intimidating prospect. High school was a long time ago, and diners and drive-in movies have long since given way to dating apps. You may feel out of touch and unprepared to deal with this new dating environment, but you\u2019re not as alone as you think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Seniors now account for a large percentage of America\u2019s singles, and are increasingly active in online dating<\/a>. Once you\u2019ve gotten accustomed to the idea and learned to navigate a few dating sites, you\u2019ll be pleasantly surprised at how simple the process can be. Unfortunately, there are also a few things you\u2019ll need to know in order to date safely. Otherwise you could leave yourself vulnerable to fraud, identity theft or even outright violence or abuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most online dating sites are pretty easy to use, especially if they\u2019re focused on mature adults. If you already use a smartphone or a computer (or both), you probably already have the skills you\u2019ll need to date online (they\u2019re pretty minimal). If you\u2019re completely tech-averse, you might need to sign up for a class at your local library<\/a> or ask a grandkid<\/a> to help get you up to speed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The next step is to do some \u201cbig picture\u201d research on online dating. This article addresses ways to protect yourself online, but you\u2019ll also want to look at articles about online dating etiquette and the social do\u2019s and don\u2019ts \u2014 the AARP dating site <\/a>is a good source for those \u2014 as well as senior-oriented reviews of the major dating sites. The websites of reputable senior-oriented publications<\/a> are another good resource.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can also approach friends and family who have been online dating for a while, to see which sites they\u2019ve had good results with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Every dating site has its own personality. The goal at Tinder and AdultFriendFinder is a blunt \u201clet\u2019s get naked,\u201d while sites targeting churchgoers are more likely to focus on either marriage or platonic companionship. Mainstream sites accommodate most choices along that spectrum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Senior-centric sites like SeniorMatch and SilverSingles provide a curated pool of age-appropriate candidates, with a goal of providing the best likelihood of a suitable match. The largest sites, like Match.com and eHarmony, take a different tack and give you the broadest possible pool of potential matches, to choose from. There are also free sites like OKCupid and Plenty of Fish, if you have budget constraints and don\u2019t want to spend money for a number of sites at first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s best to be active on no more than two or three sites at a time; otherwise it can be too much to handle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Even paid sites often offer free trials, or a limited-use free account with the option of upgrading to a paid account with more features. It\u2019s a good way to dip a toe in the water and get a feel for how each site works.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As a rule, paid sites offer better security than free sites. They have the resources to store your data more securely \u2014 though breaches can still happen \u2014 and provide for plenty of secure communications options on-site. Many also vet their profiles carefully, screening out many potential scammers and fraud artists before you ever see them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once you\u2019ve chosen a site, it\u2019s time to get out there and mingle. Here are a few \u201cbest practices\u201d you should keep in mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you progress to an actual real-world date \u2014 which is the goal, after all \u2014 take the usual common-sense precautions<\/a>. Make sure someone knows where you\u2019ll be and who you\u2019ll be with. Meet in a public place, and make sure your phone is fully charged. Check in with someone as soon as you\u2019re done. Taking a selfie with your date and sending it to a friend or posting it on social media is an especially good form of insurance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The most difficult moment comes when you make a connection with somebody who might be the partner you\u2019re looking for. At this point, just when you\u2019re caught up in the rush of emotions caused by a new romance, you\u2019re at your most vulnerable. However wrong it feels, this is exactly<\/em> the time you need to take a step back and scrutinize your potential partner carefully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s important to protect yourself. Scammers are good at appearing to be the trustworthy<\/a>, caring, charming person you want them to be, for exactly the same reason carpenters are good with saws and hammers: It\u2019s how they make their money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Human nature doesn\u2019t change much, so scammers tend to rely on the same handful of well-proven techniques<\/a> in order to carry on their dirty work. Here are a few of the biggest red flags to watch for, and ways to do due diligence on Prince (or Princess) Charming:<\/p>\n\n\n\n If all goes well, you\u2019ll find nothing wrong with your potential partner, and the relationship will develop over time like any other. The end result may be happiness or heartbreak, but either way it occurs naturally. That\u2019s just life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the other hand, you may feel that there are enough red flags to justify breaking off the relationship, either before or after that first date or two. Be polite but firm, and then either block that person or simply stop responding to their messages. This is why you don\u2019t reveal your actual location and personal email or social media in the early days: It makes you harder to find, if your suitor won\u2019t take no for an answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In a worst-case scenario, you may find that your new flame is unquestionably a scammer and fraud artist, perhaps with a trail of victims spanning decades and much of the country.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019re in that unfortunate position, take steps to protect yourself. Change the passwords on all of your accounts, scrutinize your statements closely and ask your bank and credit card providers to monitor your accounts closely. It\u2019s a good idea to also pull your credit report, to see if anything untoward is going on. If you can afford to pay a service to monitor your credit for a year or two, that\u2019s a wise precaution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Report your findings to the dating site, as well as any other sites your scammer<\/a> operates on. Reputable sites will want to know. If you\u2019ve been defrauded of any actual money or property, report it to local law enforcement and the FBI\u2019s fraud center along with the evidence you\u2019ve gathered in your investigations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The most important thing you can do if you\u2019ve been taken in by a charming fraud artist is very simple: Be gentle on yourself. It didn\u2019t happen because you were especially foolish or gullible, it happened because a greedy and unprincipled person set out deliberately to take advantage of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most of the people you\u2019ll meet on a reputable dating site are just like you, excited and uncertain and flawed and optimistic. Scammers are a reality, but it would be unfortunate if you let your bad experience deter you from your goal of meeting someone worthwhile. Even the best gold mines contain a lot more rock than gold, but the gold is there if you\u2019re willing to dig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Starting to date again as a mature adult is a pretty intimidating prospect. High school was a long time ago, and diners and drive-in movies have long since given way…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":112,"featured_media":23512,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[616],"tags":[680],"class_list":["post-23171","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-how-to","tag-know-him"],"yoast_head":"\nPreparing Yourself to Date Online<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Senior Match and Other Dating Sites<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Choosing Sites Wisely<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Online Dating Safety<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
After You\u2019ve Connected<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
A \u201cRed Flags\u201d Checklist<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
So Now What?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
If You Uncover a Scammer<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Get Back on Your Feet<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
References: <\/h3>\n\n\n\n