{"id":25301,"date":"2021-11-29T18:05:03","date_gmt":"2021-11-30T02:05:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/?p=25301"},"modified":"2022-04-13T12:22:01","modified_gmt":"2022-04-13T20:22:01","slug":"how-to-outsmart-a-romance-scammer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/how-to-outsmart-a-romance-scammer\/","title":{"rendered":"11 Ways To Outsmart a Romance Scammer"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

They may pose as a lonely oil rig worker or a bored soldier stuck on an overseas military base.  At first they ask for companionship, but soon they need funds for emergency surgery or a plane ticket.  Whatever the back story, these aren\u2019t genuine romances, but rather online scams.  They\u2019re getting increasingly common, too, and the real cost was over $304 million in 2020 alone<\/a>.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s what you need to know if you\u2019ve met someone through social media, a dating site or your DMs.  Try these 11 ways to tell if someone is a romance scammer, and learn how to outsmart them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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1. Stay on the Site<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If your romance started through a dating site, the golden rule is to keep communication through the platform\u2019s channels until you\u2019re able to either meet in person or confirm that the person is worthy of your trust.  Many romance scammers will try to draw you toward an encrypted chat platform that hides their bogus location and identity.  Someone who is genuinely looking for love online should have no issue with chatting through the message platform their dating site offers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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2. You Can\u2019t Hurry Love<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

One of the telltale signs of a romance scammer is an impulsive declaration of love that comes suspiciously early.  The problem for many unsuspecting victims is that it all seems to make sense.  That\u2019s why you\u2019ve got to be self-disciplined and force yourself to slow progress down, however seductive they are.  Professional scammers are in a rush, and they will quickly give themselves away with impatience if you<\/em> don\u2019t comply with their<\/em> schedule. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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3. Get Them on a Call<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you can \u201chop on a call\u201d several times a day for work without complaint, it shouldn\u2019t be too much to ask for your online lover to join you for a quick video chat.  They probably won\u2019t, of course, if they\u2019re an online romance scammer.  Look out for excuses about cell phone coverage, schedule changes or urgent travel.  It\u2019s the only red flag you need.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Scammers cannot afford to reveal their identity in real time.  If they only want to communicate by text, it might be time to leave them on unread. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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4. They Ask for Money<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Romance scammers are just confidence tricksters with a good line or two.  Beyond the sweet talk, their only goal is to get their victim to wire money or send gift cards to an untraceable account or nonrefundable payment app.  Be warned that the pretext for requesting money can be convincing and elaborate, usually involving an emergency that pulls at the victim\u2019s heart strings.  You\u2019re not being callous in saying no, just sensible in protecting your hard-earned money from unscrupulous hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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5. Check Their Employer<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Some romance scammers work in teams, and your online lover may introduce you to \u201ccolleagues\u201d or \u201cfamily members\u201d who appear to corroborate their back story.  That\u2019s no substitute for doing your own research.  If they\u2019re on an oil rig (allegedly), use Spokeo\u2019s phone and email verification tool<\/a> to see if their number or email address matches their workplace. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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6. Run a Reverse Image Search<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s highly likely that your romantic contact will pique your interest with a profile picture that features an attractive, charming and seemingly trustworthy person.  A quick reverse image search on Google will show you whether they\u2019re a solid 10 or a zero.  If the photo has been cloned from someone else\u2019s social media profile, their ruse will be exposed in just a few clicks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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7. Look Up Their Number<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

There might not be any video calls, but your lover may have given you a WhatsApp or cellphone number.  Watch out for two red flags.  Firstly, they are nearly always unavailable when you call them.  Secondly, their area code doesn\u2019t match the location they claim to be in.  Run a reverse phone number lookup<\/a> to find the address attached to their number, bearing in mind that sophisticated scammers from overseas could use a spoofing system<\/a> to further hide their true identity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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8. Ask for a Selfie<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Want to know where your prospective paramour really is?  Ask them for a selfie right now.  That definitely won\u2019t be part of their plans.  Any genuine person should be able to send a quick snap from their current location, no matter how shy they are.  But if your partner is stalling and making excuses, that\u2019s the sign that they\u2019re probably a scammer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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9. Get a Second Opinion<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Scammers don\u2019t just seduce their victims.  They manipulate them too, with one tactic being to isolate the target from their friends and family.  They may try to convince you that yours is a love that crosses impossible boundaries, when in fact it\u2019s just a scam that breaks the law.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If things are progressing uncomfortably fast and getting too intense, bring in a trusted advisor to give their opinion.  You could even get your friend to reach out to the scammer themselves to see if the same process and script are repeated. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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10. Ask Questions…Again<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not uncommon for professional romance scammers to keep several victims on the go at one point to maximize returns.  That makes it hard for all but the best to keep track of their lies.  Keep notes, drill down on the details and pester your potential lover with questions.  It\u2019s the same technique that police interrogators use and eventually it will expose inconsistencies in a fictitious story. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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11. No Nudes!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Some scammers may push the boundaries of romance and request nude pictures or videos.  Their aim is to hold photos or screen recordings for the purposes of blackmail.  Worryingly, most scammers will have done their homework too on your social media profiles, so they may threaten to share these photos with your family or co-workers.  Until you are completely sure that the credentials of your romantic partner check out, treat any chat log as shareable and any online video chat as recorded for posterity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How To Outsmart a Romance Scammer<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

With more of us spending longer periods online, and many of us feeling isolated and lonely too, romantic scams are likely to become increasingly common.  There\u2019s no need to fall victim, however.  With Spokeo\u2019s suite of tools for verifying identity and revealing what scammers don\u2019t want you to know, it\u2019s easy to nip a romance in the bud before any damage is done.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Start with a reverse photo lookup to see if the person\u2019s profile picture is genuine, then run a complete check on Spokeo of any other details they\u2019ve shared, such as email address and phone number.  Their weakness is that they\u2019re not who they say they are or where they claim to be, but with Spokeo<\/a> there\u2019s nowhere to hide. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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