{"id":25343,"date":"2021-12-21T14:46:33","date_gmt":"2021-12-21T22:46:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/?p=25343"},"modified":"2022-09-02T09:56:06","modified_gmt":"2022-09-02T17:56:06","slug":"what-is-kittenfishing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/what-is-kittenfishing\/","title":{"rendered":"Kittenfishing: Little White Lie or Deal-Breaker?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>If you\u2019re active on social media, or have any interest at all in online dating, you\u2019re probably familiar with the concept of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/afraid-youre-being-catfished-heres-what-to-do-2\/\">catfishing<\/a>: people pretending to be someone they\u2019re not, for one or another malicious purpose.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s another scenario you\u2019re likely to encounter, in which the person is indeed who they claim to be but \u2014 and it\u2019s an important \u201cbut\u201d \u2014 has misrepresented themselves in a significant way.&nbsp; The term for that is <em>kittenfishing<\/em>, which neatly conveys that it\u2019s less serious than catfishing but still significant enough to be called out.&nbsp; Here\u2019s how it works (and why you may even be guilty of it yourself).&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Kittenfishing Reflects Human Nature<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Wanting to be liked is ingrained in our makeup, and it\u2019s especially natural to want to put your best foot forward in the specialized environment of a dating app.&nbsp; Most of us are willing to feign a shared interest in someone else\u2019s hobby or play up the areas where our enthusiasms overlap with someone else\u2019s during that crucial getting-acquainted stage.&nbsp; That\u2019s perfectly normal, and won\u2019t usually get you into hot water.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That being said, you could constructively think of those minor deceptions as representing the innocuous end of a spectrum of untruth, which gradually scales up and eventually peaks with deliberate, malicious scams.&nbsp; All of us draw a mental line somewhere on that spectrum, marking the point where the untruth \u2014 however well-meant \u2014 becomes significant.&nbsp; That\u2019s when it graduates to the point of kittenfishing.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Examples of Kittenfishing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>So what are some specific examples of kittenfishing? There are plenty to choose from:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Using photo apps\u2019 filters to improve your appearance<\/li><li>Using old (really old!) photos, if you\u2019re\u2026ahem\u2026past your youth<\/li><li>Exaggerating your income or misstating the importance of your job<\/li><li>Pretending the hot car in the photo is yours when it\u2019s actually rented or borrowed<\/li><li>Lying about your height or fitness<\/li><li>Diligently hiding your baldness in photos (this actually has its own nickname: hatfishing)<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>How strongly you feel about kittenfishing depends which side of the equation you\u2019re on.&nbsp; The term was originally coined in 2017 by the dating app Hinge. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bustle.com\/p\/what-is-kittenfishing-the-latest-dating-problem-has-likely-happened-to-you-67481\">A survey of the app\u2019s users<\/a> found that over a third of men on the platform, and almost a quarter of the women, reported being kittenfished.&nbsp; Tellingly, only 2% of men and 1% of women fessed up to having kittenfished someone else.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The bottom line?&nbsp; We feel we\u2019ve been lied to when someone else does it, but we see no issue with a \u201cslight exaggeration\u201d or \u201clittle white lie\u201d when we\u2019re doing it ourselves.&nbsp; In fact, we may not even realize we\u2019re doing it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How To Spot a Kittenfisher<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>So how can you tell when someone is kittenfishing you?&nbsp; There are a number of signs that can give the deception away, if you know to look for them.&nbsp; Some of them are social, much the same set of tells you\u2019d look for if you were interacting with someone in person:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>There are inconsistencies in the stories from one conversation to the next.<\/li><li>When you try to press for details, you get evasions or excuses.<\/li><li>They present themselves in a way that makes them feel just a little too good to be true.<\/li><li>They seem to have a startling range and depth of life experience for someone of the age they\u2019re claiming to be.<\/li><li>They hastily abandon a given line of conversation when they discover that it\u2019s a topic you\u2019re <em>really<\/em> knowledgeable about.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re already starting to feel that there\u2019s something about your new acquaintance that\u2019s not quite right, you can take some proactive steps to test your suspicions.&nbsp; One is to use Spokeo\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\">people search tools<\/a>, since \u2014 unlike a catfish \u2014 you\u2019ll have the kittenfisher\u2019s real name, and perhaps a phone number or email address.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Searching those might turn up any number of telling details: , an address in a rather less desirable part of town than the one you were told, or social-media accounts that display a real birth date, graduation date or recent photos that paint a rather different picture of the person.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Check the Photos<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Speaking of pictures, those can be another telltale sign of kittenfishing.&nbsp; If all of the other person\u2019s photos seem to come from the same time frame, examine them closely for details that seem wrong: A Blackberry phone, dated fashions or hairstyles, or pics that look filtered (for a younger person) or oddly low-res (for a less-young person) are all grounds for suspicion.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Phones and digital cameras routinely record metadata (\u201cEXIF data\u201d is the industry term) as part of each image, including the date and time of the shot and its location, expressed as GPS coordinates.&nbsp; If you search \u201cEXIF viewer\u201d or \u201cphoto metadata viewer\u201d on the App Store or Play Store, you\u2019ll find apps that can extract this data from pictures for you.&nbsp; There are also websites that can turn a photo\u2019s GPS coordinates <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pic2map.com\/\">into a map location<\/a>, quickly and easily.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If the photos all prove to be several years old, or were taken in a much less glamorous location than the one you were told, then you\u2019ve caught a kittenfisher.&nbsp; If they weren\u2019t taken with a digital camera, and your acquaintance isn\u2019t a vintage-photography enthusiast, well\u2026that tells a story as well.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">So You\u2019ve Caught a Kittenfisher.&nbsp; What Now?&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Once you\u2019ve demonstrated to your own satisfaction that you\u2019ve been kittenfished, the next question is what you\u2019re going to do about it.&nbsp; For starters, you might acknowledge the possibility that the other person wasn\u2019t even conscious of misleading you (remember that survey?).&nbsp; Many of us have a photo that we really like, so we keep using it until one day we realize \u2014 or someone points out to us \u2014 that it\u2019s been 20 years, and maybe we should stop?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s not as if there was any likelihood of maintaining the illusion once you meet in person.&nbsp; So why persevere in a lie that\u2019s certain to be uncovered?&nbsp; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nbcnews.com\/better\/lifestyle\/kittenfishing-common-dating-trend-you-re-likely-guilty-ncna1030121\">Some theorize<\/a> that it\u2019s all about getting a foot in the door and having the opportunity to make a case for yourself.&nbsp; Sports fans will recognize this as the same kind of irrational optimism that says \u201conce you\u2019re in the playoffs, anything can happen.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The hard truth is that most of the time, it doesn\u2019t.&nbsp; It\u2019s hard for a prospective date or romantic partner to <em>not<\/em> feel that a person who lies about small things will also lie about bigger things.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">We\u2019re Only Human<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>At the end of the day, how you react to the situation is up to your individual judgement.&nbsp; As long as the kittenfishing seems relatively innocent, and your digging didn\u2019t uncover a history of violence or other significant red flags, you may still want to consider meeting.&nbsp; Try the direct approach: \u201cIf we\u2019re going to meet, we need to be honest with each other. I did a little digging, and\u2026\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If their response is defensive or hostile, just walk away.&nbsp; On the other hand, if they own it and are willing to start over on an honest basis, maybe they\u2019re worth getting to know. We all have our insecurities, after all, and someone padding their height by a couple of inches or Photoshopping stretch marks from a swimsuit photo doesn\u2019t necessarily make them a bad person.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You might even challenge yourself to have a blunt-spoken friend or relative give your own profile a reality check.&nbsp; If the results are chastening, perhaps that\u2019s a sign you might cut the other person some slack as well.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Sources<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Bustle: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bustle.com\/p\/what-is-kittenfishing-the-latest-dating-problem-has-likely-happened-to-you-67481\">The New Dating Epidemic You Need to Know About<\/a><\/li><li>Pic2Map: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pic2map.com\/\">Pic2Map Photo Location Viewer<\/a>NBC News: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nbcnews.com\/better\/lifestyle\/kittenfishing-common-dating-trend-you-re-likely-guilty-ncna1030121\">Kittenfishing: The Common Dating Trend You\u2019re Probably (Slightly) Guilty Of<\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019re active on social media, or have any interest at all in online dating, you\u2019re probably familiar with the concept of catfishing: people pretending to be someone they\u2019re not,&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":112,"featured_media":25344,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[616,614],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25343","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-how-to","category-safety"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What is Kittenfishing? 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