{"id":25362,"date":"2025-10-09T16:13:21","date_gmt":"2025-10-10T00:13:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/?p=25362"},"modified":"2025-10-09T15:13:33","modified_gmt":"2025-10-09T23:13:33","slug":"should-you-block-your-ex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/should-you-block-your-ex\/","title":{"rendered":"Breakup Etiquette: Should You Block Your Ex?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Breakups have never been easy \u2014 for every agreeable, amicable parting of ways, it seems like there are two or three emotionally messy, complex separations. But they\u2019ve only become more complicated and nuanced as online contact, the myriad of methods that keep us perpetually connected,\u00a0has become so ingrained in the human experience. It\u2019s no longer just a question of \u201cshould we break up,\u201d but a question of \u201c<em>how<\/em> broken up should we be online and stuff?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cShould I block my ex?\u201d is chief among those muddy modern breakup questions, and just like your relationship status in that will-we-won\u2019t-we mid-breakup period, the answer to that question is: it\u2019s complicated.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Should I Block My Ex? Pros and Cons<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, the first and most actionable step in a complicated and emotionally charged situation is to sit down and approach things simply and logically, even if the approach seems a little basic. With the knowledge that everyone\u2019s situation is going to be different, let\u2019s hit up the old pros and cons columns.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">To Block\u2026<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>It feels good.<\/strong> Sure, it might be petty, but that feeling of freedom and release is real. Besides, you can always walk it back later if you feel the need (we\u2019ll get to that).\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It gives you time to grieve the relationship.<\/strong> Every breakup is a loss, and sooner or later, you\u2019ll need to take time to process it.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It might help you heal.<\/strong> If the wound is fresh, it\u2019s very possible that every little contact stings. Taking some time for that to wear off is an investment in the future. You may or may not ever be friends again, but you\u2019ll be better able to deal fairly with each other after the rawness fades.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>You still have \u201cfeelings.\u201d <\/strong>This is where things get tricky. Even if you\u2019re the one who initiated the breakup, you may still be strongly attracted to your ex. Blocking them is one way to make sure you don\u2019t drunk-message them with rage, booty calls, or heartbreak, which can itself save you some regret.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>You want to.<\/strong> It\u2019s perfectly valid to straight-up say, \u201cI can\u2019t deal with this or you right now.\u201d Self-care is always important, but especially when you\u2019re hurting.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">\u2026or Not To Block<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>It makes the practical details harder.<\/strong> Even if you\u2019re not dissolving a shared household, you\u2019ll probably have some straight-up logistics to figure out, like things left behind in each other\u2019s homes or cherished memories stored on their phone. It\u2019s just easier to sort out that kind of thing if you\u2019re still communicating.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>You could lose community.<\/strong> How many of the people in your circle are part of your ex\u2019s as well? Can you block your ex effectively without blocking them? Is blocking them a price you\u2019re willing to pay?\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It\u2019s sometimes tough on friends, family, and colleagues. <\/strong>Related, blocking your ex may make your friends, family, or coworkers feel pressured to take sides. In a breakup that doesn\u2019t involve egregious misbehavior, you may not want to put them in that position.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>There\u2019s a custody issue involved.<\/strong> If you\u2019re co-parenting after a breakup, blocking your ex \u2013 and especially attempting to block your ex from communicating with your child \u2013 can put you on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.findlaw.com\/legalblogs\/law-and-life\/can-i-block-my-ex-from-calling-texting-or-facetiming-our-child\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">thin legal ice<\/a>. Pet custody has less legal standing (we think of them as family, but they\u2019re property under the law), though modern courts are increasingly willing to consider their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.animallaw.info\/article\/detailed-discussion-divorce-and-pets\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">emotional role<\/a>, especially in cases of divorce.\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re having a hard time deciding whether to block or not block, you\u2019re not alone: even experts disagree. Former advice columnist <a href=\"https:\/\/www.businessinsider.com\/always-delete-your-ex-off-social-media-expert-advice-2020-12\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Amy Chan<\/a>, author of <em>Breakup Bootcamp<\/em>, says you should always block an ex for at least 30 and ideally 60 days. Meanwhile, fellow columnist Anna Pulley \u2013 who cheerfully admits to a lot of trial and error in her own breakups \u2013 is open to a broader range of responses, which may or may not include blocking.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The difference in thought makes one thing clear: the choice is personal and, ultimately, yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"789\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/pexels-mikoto-3367850.jpg?resize=1024%2C789&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"young woman wondering if she should block her ex\" class=\"wp-image-28799\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/pexels-mikoto-3367850.jpg?resize=1024%2C789&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/pexels-mikoto-3367850.jpg?resize=300%2C231&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/pexels-mikoto-3367850.jpg?resize=768%2C592&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/pexels-mikoto-3367850.jpg?resize=1170%2C901&amp;ssl=1 1170w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/pexels-mikoto-3367850.jpg?resize=585%2C451&amp;ssl=1 585w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/pexels-mikoto-3367850.jpg?w=1280&amp;ssl=1 1280w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Abusive, Threatening, or Stalking Behavior<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cShould I block my ex?\u201d is a layered question; in most cases, your decision to block or not block is a judgment call. But there\u2019s one circumstance that makes it a line in the sand. If your ex was abusive, or if you\u2019ve been getting abusive or threatening calls and messages, or if your ex is stalking you, don\u2019t even think about it. Stop reading, and start blocking. You do not need that kind of toxicity in your life.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Abusers are often very skilled at manipulating and gaslighting their partners (if your history together includes a million reasons why everything is your fault, extravagant claims of remorse and empty promises of reform, or scathing comments about how and why you\u2019d never make it on your own, you might be looking at some gaslighting red flags), so blocking your ex takes away a lot of potential vulnerabilities. Not only does it cut those strings, but it also denies your ex most of the easy ways to track your activities online. If you\u2019re in danger, it\u2019s also worth considering blocking your ex\u2019s friends and family, lest they deliberately or accidentally pass along crucial information.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You don\u2019t need us to say it, but we\u2019re going to anyway: put your physical, mental, and emotional health first.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How Blocking Works on Major Platforms&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>As you transition from \u201cshould I block my ex?\u201d into \u201c<em>how<\/em> do I block my ex?,\u201d the steps will vary based on the platforms on which you\u2019re connected. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/how-to-block-someone-on-imessage\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">On most phones<\/a>, you can simply select the contact and tap the \u201cblock\u201d button. On socials, things are a little different \u2013 here\u2019s how each breaks down, straight from the source:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>TikTok:<\/strong> True to form. TikTok\u2019s<a href=\"https:\/\/support.tiktok.com\/en\/using-tiktok\/followers-and-following\/blocking-the-users\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"> blocking process<\/a> is short and simple.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Twitter\/X:<\/strong> You can <a href=\"https:\/\/help.x.com\/en\/using-x\/blocking-and-unblocking-accounts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">block someone on X<\/a> by clicking the three dots on any of their posts or their profile. Be warned, though, that in the post-Elon era, blocked users can still see your posts, even if they can\u2019t engage with them. (X? More like <em>ex<\/em>, yeah?)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Snapchat: <\/strong>Like X, <a href=\"https:\/\/help.snapchat.com\/hc\/en-us\/articles\/7012401093396-How-to-Block-a-Friend-on-Snapchat\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">blocked users on Snapchat<\/a> will still be able to see your public posts, so you\u2019ll probably also want to tweak your privacy settings (a good idea for every platform, for the next little while).\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Instagram:<\/strong> On Insta, you\u2019ll want <a href=\"https:\/\/help.instagram.com\/426700567389543\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">this page<\/a>. One thoughtful detail: When you block someone from the Instagram app, it also blocks any new accounts they may create.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Facebook:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/help\/1000976436606344\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Facebook\u2019s Help Center<\/a> will tell you how to unfriend or block someone, and also provides a lot of other options you might not be aware of, like taking a break from someone\u2019s profile or limiting who can see your posts.\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Going Further<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Depending on how many channels you previously used to communicate with your ex, you may also need to block them on one or more messaging apps, or reach out to mutual friends and acquaintances and ask them to please, please, please not undermine your decision by acting as an intermediary.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If your ex is really determined to maintain contact, you may need to take extra precautions against them opening new accounts or getting a new phone number for the express purpose of bypassing your defenses.\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/?g=name_bs_C026090&amp;utm_source=Bing&amp;utm_medium=CPC&amp;utm_Campaign=Brand&amp;campaignid=71022018&amp;adgroupid=532019419&amp;creative=&amp;targetid=kwd-83906594946561:loc-4126&amp;placement=&amp;msclkid=785b308d97b8122de58b58868e2da54e\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Spokeo\u2019s People Search<\/a> can help with that: Just plug in your ex\u2019s name, phone number, or email address, and review the results to see additional numbers, emails, and social media handles that may be associated with them. As a bonus, it\u2019ll also show if the number that\u2019s suddenly messaging you belongs to his mom or her BFF.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Frequently Asked Questions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>You probably won\u2019t be shocked to learn that you\u2019re not the first person going through the motions with this. Airing out some of the most commonly asked questions that arise when people search online for \u201cshould I block my ex?\u201d might just help you work through it, too, especially with a little insight from experts:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Is it healthy to block your ex?&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Oftentimes, yes. <a href=\"https:\/\/news.stonybrook.edu\/newsroom\/press-release\/general\/010711lovecanlast\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Neuroscientific studies<\/a> have shown that the brain registers breakup pain much the same way it does physical pain. Blocking is a boundary that you\u2019re able to deploy, and boundaries can be very healthy.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Will blocking someone help you move on?&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>According to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.beselffull.com\/blog\/mindful-blocking-when-blocking-someone-helps-in-rewiring-your-brain#:~:text=Using%20blocking%20as%20a%20tool,let%20go%20and%20move%20forward.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Jessica Baum, LMHC<\/a>, that\u2019s a yes. \u201cBlocking can serve as a form of protection as you try to let go and move forward.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Is it immature to block your ex?&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019ve given it thought, are protecting your peace, or have communicated it with your ex, then absolutely not. In many cases, it can be downright mature.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Should I block my ex if I still have feelings?&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>As LCSW Dr. Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz tells <a href=\"http:\/\/marriage.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Marriage.com<\/a>, \u201cThe bottom line is if you\u2019re trying to move on, but you can\u2019t stop yourself from contacting your ex or obsessing over their social media posts, blocking is the best choice.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Finding Your Level<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>As Baum puts it, the choice to block often comes down to two questions: how are you responding to the relationship ending (Are you having a hard time letting go? Feeling jealous? Feeling upset when they contact you?) and how is your ex responding to the relationship ending (are they seeking your attention too much? Does contact from them inspire negative feelings in you)?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re feeling conflicted, it\u2019s important to remember that blocking your ex doesn\u2019t necessarily need to be forever. Unless things are really adversarial or toxic, you can even be up front about it. If things are amicable, let them know that you\u2019re going to block them for a period of time, not out of spite, but to have the space to process things. Be sure to emphasize that when (or if) you unblock them at the end of that time, and potentially re-friend or re-follow them, that it doesn\u2019t mean the door is open for a reunion. It just means you\u2019ve taken the time you needed, and you\u2019re ready to get on with your life.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At the end of the day, it\u2019s all about you. If you need to block your ex in order to get through the breakup, then do it without shame or guilt. If you\u2019re okay with maintaining limited contact, do that instead. Everybody grieves differently, everybody heals differently, and sometimes you need to put yourself first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, should you block your ex? The answer\u2019s different for everyone. What matters most is that you\u2019ve done your diligence, gotten support from your loved ones and mental health professionals, and found that level that best protects your heart.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>As a freelance writer, small business owner, and consultant with more than a decade of experience, Dan has been fortunate enough to collaborate with leading brands including Microsoft, Fortune, Verizon, Discover, Office Depot, The Motley Fool, and more. He currently resides in Dallas, TX.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Should you block your ex? It\u2019s complicated \u2013 let\u2019s walk through the pros, cons, and considerations together. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":154,"featured_media":25364,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[618],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25362","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships-advice-how-to"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Should You Block Your Ex? Let\u2019s Talk About It | Spokeo<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Should you block your ex? 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It\u2019s complicated \u2013 let\u2019s walk through the pros, cons, and considerations together.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/should-you-block-your-ex\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Compass Blog | Digital Identity and People Search | Spokeo\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Spokeo\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-10-10T00:13:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/ShouldYouBlockYourEx_1170x600.jpg?fit=1170%2C600&ssl=1\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1170\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Dan Ketchum\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Spokeo\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Spokeo\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Dan Ketchum\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/should-you-block-your-ex\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/should-you-block-your-ex\/\",\"name\":\"Should You Block Your Ex? 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