{"id":25418,"date":"2022-02-07T16:58:24","date_gmt":"2022-02-08T00:58:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/?p=25418"},"modified":"2022-04-13T12:21:58","modified_gmt":"2022-04-13T20:21:58","slug":"spousal-identity-theft","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/spousal-identity-theft\/","title":{"rendered":"Spousal Identity Theft: An Emotionally and Financially Damaging Crime"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Finding yourself the victim of identity theft can be a really traumatizing experience.&nbsp; According to the nonprofit Identity Theft Resource Center\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.idtheftcenter.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/2021-ITRC-Consumer-Aftermath-Responses-Non-Pandemic-Related.pdf\">2021 Consumer Aftermath<\/a> study, more than 80% of respondents reported anxiety, more than 76% felt violated, and 57% were depressed. In most cases, you\u2019ll never know who has caused you all of the stress and upheaval; they\u2019re simply a group of faceless scammers.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But what if the identity thief is your significant other?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Spousal identity theft is not just an especially deep form of betrayal, it\u2019s a uniquely complicated crime to resolve.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"what-spousal-identity-theft-is-and-isn-t\">What Spousal Identity Theft Is (and Isn\u2019t)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Before getting too far into this discussion, it\u2019s important to talk about what is, and is not, spousal identity theft.&nbsp; If you have a joint bank or credit card account, and your spouse uses it in a way you don\u2019t agree with, that\u2019s <em>not<\/em> identity theft or fraud.&nbsp; Similarly, if you\u2019ve given your spouse a card as the second user on your account, that\u2019s also on you.&nbsp; It\u2019s not criminal activity but a disagreement over money, something most couples experience at times.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So where do you draw the line between \u201cdisagreeing over money\u201d and outright fraud or identity theft?&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Well, if your spouse forges your name as an applicant or co-signer, that likely crosses the line into fraudulent activity territory, especially as the creditor is concerned.&nbsp; So do purchases made from an account they have no legal right to access (i.e., accounts that are solely in your name, and that don\u2019t list them as a user).&nbsp; In extreme cases, your spouse might furtively siphon away your assets, such as the equity in your home, or even resort to <a href=\"https:\/\/mmrltd.com\/blog\/4770-preventing-and-fixing-deed-fraud\/\">deed fraud<\/a> to transfer the property from your name to theirs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some of these are pretty egregious, but others can be hard to prove, especially in the case of online purchases, which require no signature.&nbsp; It\u2019s weirdly like a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/how-to-outsmart-a-romance-scammer\/\">romance scam<\/a>, except you\u2019re actually in a real-world relationship with the person who takes advantage of you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"spousal-identity-theft-means-motive-and-opportunity\">Spousal Identity Theft: Means, Motive, and Opportunity<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Investigators look for three things when a crime occurs: someone who has the necessary means to commit the crime, a reason for going ahead with it, and an opportunity to act on that motive.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As for means and opportunity, your spouse or significant other (usually) shares a home with you, so sensitive papers like your statements, tax returns and personal ID are accessible.&nbsp; You may share a computer or know at least a few of each other\u2019s passwords.&nbsp; Many couples also have joint accounts that you\u2019ve deliberately opened together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/identity-theft-protection?g=idp_a1111111111\"><strong><em>PROTECT YOUR SSN, FINANCIAL ACCOUNTS, MEDICAL ID &amp; MORE WITH SPOKEO PROTECT!&nbsp;<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That just leaves motive, and there can be plenty of those.&nbsp; A few potential examples include the following:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>If one partner is frugal and the other\u2019s a spender, the spender may feel the need to carve out a bit of space for illicit emotional or impulse shopping (\u201cI thought you\u2019d be mad if you knew\u2026\u201d).&nbsp;<\/li><li>One partner might bring concealed debts into the relationship, and tap into the other\u2019s credit to put them to bed.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li><li>One partner might have an addiction, from gambling to substance abuse, which requires more money than they can earn legitimately.&nbsp;<\/li><li>One partner might face a temporary shortfall or crisis and fraudulently take out new credit to cover it, but think, \u201cI\u2019ll put it back before they notice it\u2019s gone.\u201d<\/li><li>Similarly, one partner might be seduced by a business or investment opportunity (legitimate, or fraudulent) that the other would never go for, and counts on \u201ca home run\u201d to make things right.&nbsp;<\/li><li>Using money as a form of revenge after some form of misbehavior (like an affair) on the partner\u2019s part.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>In short, if you\u2019re the one with more assets or better credit, it\u2019s easy for your partner to take advantage.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But one other motive for spousal identity theft may be the most consequential of all, and deserves a closer examination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"spousal-identity-theft-as-a-form-of-abusive-control\">Spousal Identity Theft as a Form of Abusive Control<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Often a spousal identity thief is acting out of poor impulse control or failure to think things through, not malice, and they\u2019re genuinely remorseful about the stress and financial difficulties that result.&nbsp; For controlling, manipulative or downright abusive spouses, on the other hand, the stress and financial damage resulting from their identity theft is the entire point.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Controlling and abusive spouses work very hard at isolating their partners and eroding their will.&nbsp; This includes cutting them off from friends and family, minimizing their interactions with co-workers and the community at large, and \u2014 wherever possible \u2014 controlling the household\u2019s finances.&nbsp; That\u2019s not hard when one partner is the sole earner, but it\u2019s a bit more complicated when you both have good credit and income or assets.&nbsp; In that case, deliberately burdening the spouse with debt through identity theft \u2014 \u201cweaponizing\u201d it, if you will \u2014 is a useful tool for abusers.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"the-law-and-spousal-financial-abuse\">The Law and Spousal Financial Abuse<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Most jurisdictions don\u2019t recognize forms of domestic abuse other than violence \u2014 which can have the paradoxical effect of forcing partners to stay with their abusers until the situation <em>does<\/em> escalate to violence \u2014 but this is changing.&nbsp; In 2013, New York became the first state to add spousal identity theft to its list of reasons for court-ordered protections.&nbsp; Texas <a href=\"https:\/\/www.idtheftcenter.org\/post\/new-texas-law-protects-victims-of-coerced-debt\/\">passed a law in 2019<\/a> to formally class identity theft and coerced debt as forms of domestic violence.&nbsp; In 2021, Connecticut similarly passed <a href=\"https:\/\/www.fox61.com\/article\/news\/local\/jennifers-law-passes-house-heads-to-lamonts-desk\/520-aa455de2-d9ed-4d7e-8525-b7bebdf49536\">\u201cJennifer\u2019s Law,\u201d<\/a> sparked by a case of coercive control turning deadly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While the tide appears to be turning in favor of victims of spousal identity theft, your rights and protections will vary widely from state to state.&nbsp; If you\u2019re in an abusive situation, the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/\">National Domestic Violence Hotline<\/a> offers discreet assistance by phone, text or online.&nbsp; The <a href=\"https:\/\/www.womenslaw.org\/about-abuse\">Women\u2019s Law website<\/a>, a project of the National Network to End Domestic Violence, also has excellent resources, and more may be available to you at the state level.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"dealing-with-spousal-identity-theft-it-s-complicated\">Dealing with Spousal Identity Theft (It\u2019s Complicated)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019ll usually recognize the spousal identity theft the same way you do <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/how-to-check-for-identity-theft\/\">any other identity theft<\/a>, by spotting illicit transactions on your accounts or seeing something weird on your credit report.&nbsp; The difficult part comes in deciding how to proceed from there.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.idtheftcenter.org\/help_center\/when-you-personally-know-the-identity-thief-what-are-your-options-when-you-know-the-imposter\/\">emotionally complicated<\/a>, because you have feelings for this person, and that\u2019s what makes the sense of betrayal sting so badly.&nbsp; There\u2019s also the risk of pushback from friends and relatives, who may urge you to \u201ckeep it in the family\u201d or \u2014 if applicable \u2014 \u201cthink of the kids.\u201d&nbsp; Abusive or manipulative spouses may even persuade your own friends and family that you\u2019re the villain in the drama, and turn them against you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In an ordinary identity theft case, the response is straightforward: You report the incident, you get the financial charges reversed, and hopefully at some point the criminal is arrested.&nbsp; It\u2019s not that clear-cut when you have to decide whether to report your significant other.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"spousal-identity-theft-is-really-hard-to-reverse\">Spousal Identity Theft Is <em>Really<\/em> Hard to Reverse&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Trying to \u201csplit the difference\u201d by undoing the fraud, while not filing an official complaint against your spouse, is seldom an option.&nbsp; Legally, couples are largely considered to be a financial partnership, and there\u2019s an assumption that any spending or borrowing by one spouse has the other\u2019s approval.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That means asking your bank or credit card company to reverse a charge or close an illicitly opened account is problematic, because it comes down to whether you\u2019d consented to the loan or purchase.&nbsp; That\u2019s difficult to prove, often pitting one partner\u2019s word against the other\u2019s.&nbsp; Financial institutions aren\u2019t courts of law, and (not unreasonably) don\u2019t want to be in the position of deciding who\u2019s telling the truth.&nbsp; They just want their money, and you can\u2019t really blame them.&nbsp; It\u2019s the business they\u2019re in, after all.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The bottom line is that your card carriers and financial institutions will <a href=\"https:\/\/www.womenslaw.org\/about-abuse\/forms-abuse\/financial-abuse\/credit-cards#node-27122\">vary widely in their responsiveness<\/a>, and their willingness to work with you to undo the damage.&nbsp; In some cases, they may require you to file a police report, or at a minimum to report the fraud or identity theft to the FTC.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"protecting-yourself-in-the-short-term\">Protecting Yourself in the Short Term<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The <em>very<\/em> first thing you should do, if you decide to pursue restitution, is to request a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/credit-freeze-vs-lock\/\">credit freeze<\/a> at the major reporting agencies.&nbsp; This makes it much more difficult for your spouse to open new accounts, and limits the risk of them deliberately causing more damage now that the relationship is on the rocks.&nbsp; It won\u2019t help with the existing accounts, but it\u2019s an important precaution.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Talk to your bank and credit card carrier, and take what steps you can to reduce your spouse\u2019s access to your accounts and assets.&nbsp; You might preemptively transfer money from joint accounts to your own solely held accounts, for example (talk to a lawyer about this, if you\u2019re divorcing).&nbsp; If your spouse is an authorized user on your credit cards, have the carrier remove them from the account.&nbsp; If you can physically find the card, confiscate it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your spouse has had access to your personal information for a long time, so to an extent this is \u201cclosing the barn door after the horse gets out,\u201d but start keeping your personal papers and financial statements under lock and key.&nbsp; Change the passwords on your accounts, and start password-protecting your devices to keep your spouse out.&nbsp; Oh, and remember to change the PINs and passwords on your credit and debit cards.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"resolving-spousal-identity-theft-in-the-legal-and-credit-system\">Resolving Spousal Identity Theft in the Legal and Credit System&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you do opt to file a police report and potentially proceed with charges, that hard decision may only be the start of a long and painful process.&nbsp; For one thing, in some jurisdictions, you may find it difficult to persuade the police <a href=\"https:\/\/www.law360.com\/articles\/1221505\/why-marital-identity-theft-is-so-hard-to-fight\">to even open a file<\/a>, let alone proceed with a prosecution.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Be prepared to document the fraud extensively, and to spend a lot of time working with the credit reporting agencies and your creditors to challenge and resolve the individual charges and loans.&nbsp; Similarly, if you are successful in having a criminal investigation launched, you can expect to work with police and (potentially) prosecutors to help them make a case.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The other complication in many such cases is that they\u2019ll take place alongside a divorce, or at least the preliminaries of a divorce.&nbsp; Resolving the financial impacts of spousal identity theft will make the divorce negotiations all the more difficult (you\u2019ll <em>really<\/em> need a lawyer).&nbsp; On a positive note, once the divorce is final, there will no longer be any question that your finances and your partner\u2019s are fully severed.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"putting-it-behind-you\">Putting It Behind You<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Everybody\u2019s situation is different.&nbsp; This might be a brief aberration in a long and otherwise-stable relationship, something you can get through with an earnest conversation and some boundary-setting.&nbsp; At the other end of the scale, it might involve a lengthy court battle to resolve the financial issues and finalize a divorce.&nbsp; In some cases, you may ultimately remain out-of-pocket for some or all of the money you\u2019ve lost.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Recovering financially from identity theft is a topic worthy of a whole other article (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/identity-theft-recovery\/\">you\u2019ll find it here<\/a>), but that process is reasonably well-established and follows a predictable course.&nbsp; Your emotional recovery may take longer, and isn\u2019t likely to conform to any established roadmap.&nbsp; Be kind to yourself: Your trust was deliberately abused by your partner; you\u2019re not to blame.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Get the help you need, up to and including counseling.&nbsp; Spousal identity theft can leave deep emotional wounds, and it would be unfortunate if those were the most notable thing you take away from the relationship.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"sources\">Sources<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Identity Theft Resource Center: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.idtheftcenter.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/2021-ITRC-Consumer-Aftermath-Responses-Non-Pandemic-Related.pdf\">2021 Consumer Aftermath Study, Non Pandemic-Related Responses<\/a><\/li><li>Mathis, Marifian &amp; Richter: <a href=\"https:\/\/mmrltd.com\/blog\/4770-preventing-and-fixing-deed-fraud\/\">Preventing and Fixing Deed Fraud<\/a><\/li><li>Identity Theft Resource Center: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.idtheftcenter.org\/help_center\/when-you-personally-know-the-identity-thief-what-are-your-options-when-you-know-the-imposter\/\">When You Personally Know the Identity Thief: What Are Your Options When You Know the Imposter?\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li>Women\u2019s Law: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.womenslaw.org\/about-abuse\/forms-abuse\/financial-abuse\/credit-cards#node-27122\">Financial Abuse: Credit Cards<\/a><\/li><li>Law360: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.law360.com\/articles\/1221505\/why-marital-identity-theft-is-so-hard-to-fight\">Why Marital Identity Theft is So Hard to Fight<\/a><\/li><li>Ms. Magazine: <a href=\"https:\/\/msmagazine.com\/2021\/06\/29\/connecticut-coercive-control-women-children-violence-jennifers-law\/\">Connecticut Protects Coercively Controlled Women and Their Children<\/a><\/li><li>Connecticut General Assembly\u2019s Judiciary Committee: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cga.ct.gov\/2021\/juddata\/tmy\/2021SB-00006-R000324-Robbins%20Donshik,%20Karen%20Elise-TMY.PDF\">Testimony in support of (1) Raised Bill No. 1060, \u201cAn Act Concerning Court Proceedings Involving Allegations of Coercive Control\u201d and S.B. No. 6, \u201cAn Act Concerning Domestic Violence and Criminal Justice Reforms\u201d<\/a><\/li><li>State of Connecticut: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.connecticutprotectivemoms.org\/_files\/ugd\/a6f97a_de3214e4de614964b8590d92f1e36a2c.pdf\">Highlights of Jennifers\u2019 Law PA 21-78<\/a><\/li><li>National Domestic Violence Hotline: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/\">Here For You<\/a><\/li><li>Women\u2019s Law: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.womenslaw.org\/about-abuse\">About Abuse<\/a><\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Finding yourself the victim of identity theft can be a really traumatizing experience.&nbsp; According to the nonprofit Identity Theft Resource Center\u2019s 2021 Consumer Aftermath study, more than 80% of respondents&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":112,"featured_media":25420,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[810],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-identity"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Spousal Identity Theft: An Emotionally and Financially Damaging Crime | Spokeo<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Identity theft is never pleasant, but it\u2019s especially heartbreaking when your partner is the culprit. 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