{"id":27280,"date":"2024-04-08T12:49:43","date_gmt":"2024-04-08T20:49:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/?p=27280"},"modified":"2024-03-27T12:54:53","modified_gmt":"2024-03-27T20:54:53","slug":"reasons-not-to-text-your-number-neighbor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/reasons-not-to-text-your-number-neighbor\/","title":{"rendered":"Texting Your Number Neighbor: Five Reasons Not to Do It"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Fads have always been a thing, but they seem to come and go a lot faster in the age of Twitter and TikTok.\u00a0 Consider the example of \u201cnumber neighbors,\u201d people with a phone number that\u2019s just one number different from yours.\u00a0 The concept first surfaced as far back as 2008<\/a>, but didn\u2019t really go viral until the summer of 2019.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s when the idea of texting your number neighbor and posting a screenshot of the resulting exchange caught fire on Twitter, becoming popular enough to earn coverage from mainstream outlets like CNN<\/a> and even the stodgy Wall Street Journal<\/a>.\u00a0 It peaked and subsided pretty quickly, but the idea has never gone away, and you may have considered it yourself (especially if you were bored in lockdown).\u00a0 Here are five reasons to think twice before you send that text.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. It\u2019s Kind of Rude<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s start with the simplest reason not to text your number neighbor: It\u2019s a bit rude.  Admittedly, etiquette expert Emily Post didn\u2019t live long enough to weigh in on this kind of thing, but if we\u2019re being honest, most of us don\u2019t particularly like it when a random stranger barges up to us and starts talking.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of us are perfectly fine with the idea of striking up conversations with strangers.  If that\u2019s you, and a number neighbor texts you, that\u2019s great: You can decide whether to participate or not.  Not everyone shares that happy-go-lucky attitude, though, and might be put off, resentful or genuinely alarmed by your text.

It\u2019s more thoughtful, more respectful and just plain better manners to not go there. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. It Can Be Ill-Timed or Intrusive<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

One positive message you\u2019ll often see circulating on social media is a reminder to be kind to the people you encounter, because you never know what\u2019s going on in their lives.  That same logic applies to the number neighbor challenge: You don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on in that person\u2019s life, and \u2014 while your intention may have been light-hearted fun \u2014 your message might arrive at a very bad time indeed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Imagine receiving a chatty text from a \u201cnumber neighbor\u201d while you\u2019re searching for a lost child (or a dementia-stricken parent).  Or on your daughter\u2019s phone, the week after she commits suicide.  Or while you\u2019re waiting to see the oncologist about your recent cancer diagnosis.  Not to be a downer, but bad things happen every day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your text, however innocent your motives, might make the day worse for someone who\u2019s already dealing with a lot.  In fact, there\u2019s a specific example that deserves to be mentioned separately. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. You Might Trigger Someone\u2019s Jealous Partner<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When you\u2019re in love, one of life\u2019s Really Big Questions is whether (and how) that person loves you back.\u00a0 It\u2019s a fundamental insecurity many of us are prone to, even in the context of a long-term relationship.\u00a0 It\u2019s not entirely groundless: Cheating is sadly widespread<\/a>, and there are lots of common signs<\/a> that might make you believe your partner is straying (pro tip: Dating profiles<\/a> are a pretty big red flag).\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, in a lot of relationships, jealousy goes well beyond simple insecurity and into controlling, manipulative, and even abusive behavior.\u00a0 The CDC estimates<\/a> that about 40% of women and 10% of men experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime, and tens of millions experience psychological aggression.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, picture the potential impact of your innocent text on somebody in a violently jealous relationship situation.  It\u2019s an amusing plot device in a movie or sitcom, but in the real world, you could cause real harm. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(If you yourself are in a violent home situation, or if you have reason to believe someone you know is in that situation, the <\/em>National Domestic Violence Hotline<\/em><\/a> offers discreet information and assistance.\u00a0 Other organizations, such as the <\/em>American College of Surgeons<\/em><\/a>, offer lists of useful resources; but be careful to clear your browser history after visiting any such site.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Your Number Neighbor Might Be Dangerous<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A more immediate threat is that your number neighbor might represent a danger to you, personally.   This isn\u2019t statistically likely, but \u2014 like being struck by lightning \u2014 it does happen, and it\u2019s extremely unpleasant if you\u2019re the one it happens to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ve almost certainly met a lot of people over the years who \u201cgave you a bad vibe,\u201d or outright scared the heck out of you.  It\u2019s unlikely, but someone like that could<\/em> be at the other end of your impulsive text.  By handing over your phone number to them, you can open yourself up to stalking, harassment, and potentially even violence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One Los Angeles woman learned that the hard way<\/a>, when her number neighbor subjected her to a relentless barrage of threatening messages, including outright death threats.\u00a0 When she blocked his number, he responded by calling repeatedly from a private number<\/a>.\u00a0 Ultimately, she was forced to go to the police, and to change her own phone number.

This is an extreme example, but even milder levels of harassment can be traumatizing or disturbing (unsolicited NSFW photos spring to mind).\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Your Number Neighbor Might Be a Criminal<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you needed another reason to not send that text, here it is: It leaves you potentially vulnerable to scammers, identity thieves, and other assorted criminals (they have phones, too, right?).\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Giving out your phone number to the wrong stranger can go badly for you in all kinds of ways<\/a>, including (but definitely not<\/em> limited to) the following:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n