{"id":28880,"date":"2025-11-18T11:11:53","date_gmt":"2025-11-18T19:11:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/?p=28880"},"modified":"2025-11-14T11:12:42","modified_gmt":"2025-11-14T19:12:42","slug":"romance-scammer-phrases","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/romance-scammer-phrases\/","title":{"rendered":"Not My Love Language: Common Phrases That Are Signs of Romance Scams"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><em><strong>Key Takeaways<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Romance scams typically fall into the catfishing category<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>As emotional grifts, they rely on language to exploit connections<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Some key phrases can be essential red flags<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><br>Every relationship influencer and self-help podcaster worth their weight in clicks knows about red flags \u2014 narcissistic behavior, codependency, emotional unavailability, all the usual suspects. But we\u2019re interested in a whole different kind of romantic red flag: the types of language and specific phrases romance scammers use to lure in their victims.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As a grift that relies purely on one-to-one communication, language is one of the key signs of romance scams. And as a racket that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnbc.com\/2024\/07\/03\/heres-how-to-avoid-romance-scams-which-cost-consumers-1point14-billion-last-year.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">costs victims about $1.14 billion per year<\/a>, learning scammers\u2019 love language (hint: it\u2019s not quality time) is more than worth it \u2014 because there\u2019s a whole lot more at stake here than splitting the check at a bad date.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The Basics of Romance Scammer Phrases&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>By and large, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/common-romance-scams\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">romance scams<\/a> take the form of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/what-you-need-to-know-about-catphishing\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">catfishing<\/a>, which is the act of hiding behind a made-up persona and the blinders of long-distance communication, like texts or DMs, in order to manipulate someone into an emotional relationship. In rare cases, catfish are just sickos who like the thrill of the game, but most of the time, romance scammers catfish their victims to shake them down for money, or for valuable private info that will lead them to money. It\u2019s an often long-term con that can do as much emotional harm as it can financial damage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because catfishing relies on forming an emotional connection in order to make people vulnerable, language is at the heart of the scam. Speaking to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnbc.com\/2024\/07\/03\/heres-how-to-avoid-romance-scams-which-cost-consumers-1point14-billion-last-year.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">CNBC<\/a>, former White House chief information officer Theresa Payton says, \u201cWhat people need to realize is that people behind these types of scams could teach a master class in human behavior. They know the different emotional trigger points that we all have, and that\u2019s when they strike.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep in mind that not every romance scammer phrase is an immediate catfish red flag \u2014 some romantic clich\u00e9s become clich\u00e9d for a reason, and they\u2019re bound to pop up in a legit fling, too. What you want to look out for is when the signs of romance scams and the associated language start to stack up.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now let\u2019s explore some categories and examples of those emotional trigger points before you get shot through the heart \u2014 and you\u2019re to blame (if you don\u2019t learn your scammer language red flags).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Bright Red Flags: Secrecy<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Some romance scammer phrases have become so ubiquitous that they should set off alarm bells immediately. Chief among them are calls to keep the relationship secret, or isolate the victim from their family, friends, and community (who might call the scammer\u2019s BS). Be on high alert for <a href=\"https:\/\/parade.com\/living\/romance-scammer-phrases\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">catfish classics<\/a>, or similar variations of these:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u201cLet\u2019s keep this relationship private.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI don\u2019t trust your family.\u201d \/ \u201cI don\u2019t trust your friends.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cIt can be our little secret.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI don\u2019t trust anyone but you.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cKeep this between us.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/engin-akyurt-Z2xz7U1tSfo-unsplash.jpg?resize=1024%2C768&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"woman looking at phone wondering if love bombing is a sign of a romance scam\" class=\"wp-image-28881\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/engin-akyurt-Z2xz7U1tSfo-unsplash.jpg?resize=1024%2C768&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/engin-akyurt-Z2xz7U1tSfo-unsplash.jpg?resize=300%2C225&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/engin-akyurt-Z2xz7U1tSfo-unsplash.jpg?resize=768%2C576&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/engin-akyurt-Z2xz7U1tSfo-unsplash.jpg?resize=1536%2C1152&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/engin-akyurt-Z2xz7U1tSfo-unsplash.jpg?resize=1170%2C878&amp;ssl=1 1170w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/engin-akyurt-Z2xz7U1tSfo-unsplash.jpg?resize=585%2C439&amp;ssl=1 585w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/engin-akyurt-Z2xz7U1tSfo-unsplash.jpg?resize=1320%2C990&amp;ssl=1 1320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/engin-akyurt-Z2xz7U1tSfo-unsplash.jpg?w=1920&amp;ssl=1 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Love Bombing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Deployed by scammers and IRL emotional abusers alike, <a href=\"https:\/\/health.clevelandclinic.org\/love-bombing\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">love bombing<\/a> is a form of psychological abuse in which the bomber goes way overboard with affection in order to manipulate you into a relationship with them. Excessive flattery, over-the-top praise, and immediate, highly committed plans for your relationship\u2019s future are just some love bombing tactics that romance scammers love to use \u2014 after all, it\u2019s a perfect tactic for a scam that relies on manipulating victims into faux relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some love bombing romance scammer phrases might include:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u201cI\u2019ve never felt this way about anyone else.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cYou\u2019re perfect.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI feel like I\u2019ve known you forever.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI\u2019ve never met anyone like you before.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cYou\u2019re the only one for me.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cYou complete me.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI can\u2019t imagine my life without you.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI can\u2019t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI can\u2019t wait to build a life together.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI want to spend every waking moment with you.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cYou make my life so much better by being in it.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI can\u2019t stop thinking about you. You\u2019re always on my mind.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cYou\u2019re my soulmate.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cThis is fate.\u201d\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cWe\u2019re meant to be together.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Pressure, Deflection, and Other Tactics<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>A lot of romance scammer language falls in the category of, obviously, romance. But that\u2019s only part of the ploy, mainly designed to lure victims into dropping their guard. To get what they <em>really <\/em>came for, the catfish will eventually ask for money or private information. And that phase of the phony relationship often involves pressure tactics, where you might hear nuggets like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u201cIf you love me, you\u2019ll help me.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m in a difficult situation and need your help.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m having a medical emergency.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m stranded and need funds urgently.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cMy family is in trouble.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>This part of the scam can take the form of pretty much any story the catfish can cook up, but there are some stories and themes they love to use. Military jobs, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/oil-rig-scammer\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">working at sea<\/a>, or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/is-my-international-relationship-a-scam\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">working internationally<\/a> are lies that can help bolster an emotional connection while providing a convenient excuse for never meeting in person. Give phrases like this the side eye:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m a soldier stationed overseas.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m constantly travelling internationally for work.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m stuck in [foreign country] because of my family.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI work on an oil rig.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>And of course, catfish will come up with any excuse they possibly can to avoid video chatting or meeting in person. Here\u2019s some of that deflecting language:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u201cI\u2019d love to meet, but I\u2019m overseas\/in another country.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI\u2019d love to FaceTime, but I\u2019m working in a remote area and the internet\u2019s bad.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cOnce I finish this job, we\u2019ll be together.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cSomething came up.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cMy phone camera\/webcam isn\u2019t working right now.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cLet\u2019s take this to WeChat\/WhatsApp.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/vitaly-gariev-tSJmfdfoZ3E-unsplash.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Man sitting on couch wondering if he is texting a romance scammer\" class=\"wp-image-28882\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/vitaly-gariev-tSJmfdfoZ3E-unsplash.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/vitaly-gariev-tSJmfdfoZ3E-unsplash.jpg?resize=300%2C169&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/vitaly-gariev-tSJmfdfoZ3E-unsplash.jpg?resize=768%2C432&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/vitaly-gariev-tSJmfdfoZ3E-unsplash.jpg?resize=1536%2C864&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/vitaly-gariev-tSJmfdfoZ3E-unsplash.jpg?resize=1170%2C658&amp;ssl=1 1170w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/vitaly-gariev-tSJmfdfoZ3E-unsplash.jpg?resize=585%2C329&amp;ssl=1 585w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/vitaly-gariev-tSJmfdfoZ3E-unsplash.jpg?resize=1320%2C743&amp;ssl=1 1320w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/image\/vitaly-gariev-tSJmfdfoZ3E-unsplash.jpg?w=1920&amp;ssl=1 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Frequently Asked Questions&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>So now that you\u2019re at least partially fluent in catfish, it\u2019s time to dig a little deeper. Here are some of the most commonly asked questions when it comes to romance scammers and romance scammer phrases.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Will a romance scammer meet you in person?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>As a rule of thumb, a romance scammer will not meet you in person. In fact, most catfish and romance scammers will make up every excuse under the sun to <em>not <\/em>meet in person \u2013 though they\u2019ll very often string you along with promises to meet, and a litany of excuses for why they couldn\u2019t, for as long as they can.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What questions should I ask a romance scammer over text?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>On the flip side of romance scammer phrases, there are some things <em>you <\/em>can say <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/how-to-outsmart-a-romance-scammer\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">to help weed out potential catfish<\/a> if you\u2019re suspicious. Ask them for a video call or for a photo of them doing whatever they claim to be occupied with at the moment. Always ask for their social media, and gauge how they respond (or don\u2019t) to specific personal questions (\u201cwhat was your first pet?,\u201d \u201cwhat\u2019s your most vivid childhood memory?,\u201d \u201cwhat\u2019s your least favorite book?\u201d).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How long does it take for a romance scammer to ask for money?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s no rule here \u2014 depending on the scammer, they might make the ask just a few DMs into the flirtation, or they might string you on for months at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How can I tell if someone is a romance scammer?&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Alongside all the romance scammer phrases we\u2019ve gone over, be wary of common catfish tactics like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Rushing into emotional intensity, serious commitment, or plans for your future together way too quickly (see also: love bombing).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Inconsistencies in their story.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Attempts to isolate you from your friends, family, or social groups.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Pressure to keep the relationship a secret.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Photos that have been stolen from social media profiles or other online sources, or that are AI-generated.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>A tendency to deflect conversations away from themselves and avoid answering personal questions.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Protect Your Heart (and Your Wallet)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The best way to outsmart a romance scammer? Put their name, phone number, or email address into a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Spokeo People Search<\/a>. We\u2019ll instantly check that info against billions of public records and more than 120 social networks, so you can figure out if the person on the other end is a cutie or a catfish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>As a freelance writer, small business owner, and consultant with more than a decade of experience, Dan has been fortunate enough to collaborate with leading brands including Microsoft, Fortune, Verizon, Discover, Office Depot, The Motley Fool, and more. He currently resides in Dallas, TX.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sources<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>CNBC \u2013 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnbc.com\/2024\/07\/03\/heres-how-to-avoid-romance-scams-which-cost-consumers-1point14-billion-last-year.html\">Romance Scams Cost Consumers $1.14 Billion Last Year. It\u2019s \u2018More Insidious\u2019 Fraud, Expert Says<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cleveland Clinic &#8211; <a href=\"https:\/\/health.clevelandclinic.org\/love-bombing\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Love Bombing<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Digital Forensics &#8211; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.digitalforensics.com\/blog\/extortion\/romance-scam-phrases\/?srsltid=AfmBOopi7t36iCzWc8EJeqZInVbFZTKCAexLU_IThUNYv0aS0UW1Jxdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Romance Scam Red Flags: Understand the Lingo Before You Fall Victim<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>FakeDates &#8211; <a href=\"https:\/\/fakedates.co.uk\/questions-to-ask-a-romance-scammer\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">20 Questions to Ask a Romance Scammer<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Parade &#8211; <a href=\"https:\/\/parade.com\/living\/romance-scammer-phrases\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">6 Common Phrases Used by Romance Scammers, According to a Psychotherapist<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Uncover Mental Health Counseling &#8211; <a href=\"https:\/\/uncovercounseling.com\/blog\/love-bombing-signs-phrases-and-stages\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Love Bombing: Key Signs, Stages and Common Phrases<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>City National Bank &#8211; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnb.com\/personal-banking\/insights\/romance-scams.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Ways to Help Spot and Avoid Romance Scams<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Equifax &#8211; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.uat.uk.equifax.com\/resources\/identity-protection\/how-to-spot-and-avoid-romance-scams\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">How to Spot and Avoid Romance Scams<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Romance scammers catfish victims with language that ranges from flowery to urgent \u2013 learn how to speak their love language to avoid scams.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":154,"featured_media":28883,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[616],"tags":[454,100,158,860],"class_list":["post-28880","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dating-advice-how-to","tag-catfishing","tag-internet-safety","tag-online-dating","tag-romance-scams"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Don\u2019t Fall for These Common Romance Scammer Phrases | Spokeo<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Romance scammers catfish victims with 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