{"id":3267,"date":"2010-10-29T12:42:23","date_gmt":"2010-10-29T20:42:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/?p=3267"},"modified":"2022-04-13T12:20:43","modified_gmt":"2022-04-13T20:20:43","slug":"sex-lies-online-dating-7","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/sex-lies-online-dating-7\/","title":{"rendered":"Sex, Lies, and Online Dating Pt. 7"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Safeguarding Your Love Life – Part 7<\/strong><\/em><\/span> \n<\/span><\/p>\n
More of<\/em> “The Brain On Love”<\/span><\/strong> \nFisher and fellow researchers\u2019 study about the brain in love shows us that romantic love clearly corresponds with powerful chemical activity in the organ. But what did Fisher and fellow researchers ultimately learn about this powerful emotion?\u00a0 Several things, Fisher notes.\u00a0 First, that \u201cromantic love is a drive. A basic mating drive.\u201d \u201cNot the sex drive,\u201d she is quick to distinguish. That\u2019s different. \u201cThat gives you a whole range of partners. Romantic love enables you to focus your mating energy on just one at a time \u2013 conserve your energy and start it with a single individual.\u201d\u00a0 Secondly, she noted, she learned that romantic love is \u201ca need \u2013 an urge.\u00a0 It is a homeostatic imbalance.\u00a0 Like hunger or thirst, it\u2019s almost impossible to stamp out.\u201d\u00a0 Last but not least, she noted, I learned that \u201cRomantic love is an addiction. A perfectly wonderful one when it\u2019s going well, and really horrible when it\u2019s going poorly.\u201d\u00a0 And indeed, she observes, \u201cit has all the characteristics of an addiction. You focus on the person \u2013 obsessively think about them. You crave them. You distort reality.\u201d You have a \u201cwillingness to take enormous risks to be with this person\u2026.\u201d\u00a0 And<\/em>, the three chief characteristics of addiction all apply:\u00a0 \u201cTolerance \u2013 you need to see them more and more and more and more.\u201d Withdrawal is commonly experienced, and <\/em>one often encounters relapses too.\u00a0 In conclusion, Fisher notes, \u201cRomantic love is one of the most addictive substances on earth.\u201d<\/p>\n
Fisher wants us to know also that we are not the only ones who love. \u201cAnimals love too,\u201d she notes.\u00a0 In fact, \u201cThere is not an animal on this planet that will copulate with anything that comes along. Too old, too young, too scruffy, too stupid, and they won\u2019t do it. Everywhere in the world, animals have favorites.\u201d\u00a0 And<\/em>, \u201canimal attraction can be instant,\u201d she adds. Elephants have been known to notice and zero in on another even from a distance.\u00a0 In fact, this sort of instant attraction most likely represents the \u201corigins of what we call \u2018Love at first sight.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
When asked whether knowing all she does about romantic love has spoiled it for her, Fisher responds with ease, \u201cHardly. You can know all the ingredients in a chocolate cake, but when you sit down and eat it you can still feel that joy.\u201d She, like everyone else, she says, has not been immune to the experience, and has made all of the same mistakes most of us have.<\/p>\n
There is one thing, however, that researchers still do not <\/em>know, Fisher notes. That is, \u2018Why<\/em> we fall in love with one particular individual over another.\u2019 Psychologists talk about many factors, she relates. They will tell you that people tend to fall in love with persons from similar socio-economic backgrounds. They know that people tend to choose persons of the same general level of intelligence and the same general level of good looks. They talk about how we tend to choose people with similar religious values. We know that childhood plays a role too, though no one knows exactly how.\u00a0 Still, no one has been able to explain why, when presented with a group of people who meet all of these criteria we still may only select one, if any at all.<\/p>\n
Researchers have never found \u201cthe way two personalities fit together and make a good relationship,\u201d Fisher says. But, she believes that biology is involved, which is why she has made it the focus of the next chapter in her research. To that end, Fisher has devised a classification system based upon the degree to which persons express four different neurotransmitters and hormones in the body upon choosing their romantic partners. The particular chemical agents the research is tracking are dopamine, estrogen, serotonin and testosterone, each of which, whether on its own or in some combination, has been known to be closely linked to feelings of wellbeing, sex and love. Fisher hopes to be able to better gauge why people choose one person over another based upon how partners in romantic matches express these agents relative to their prospective mates.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/wp-content\/uploads\/image\/FotoFlexer_Photonm%281%29.jpg?resize=225%2C191&ssl=1\")
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ly think about them. You crave them. You distort reality.\u201d You have a \u201cwillingness to take enormous risks to be with this person\u2026.\u201d\u00a0 And<\/em>, the three chief characteristics of addiction all apply:\u00a0 \u201cTolerance \u2013 you need to see them more and more and more and more.\u201d Withdrawal is commonly experienced, and <\/em>one often encounters relapses too.\u00a0 In conclusion, Fisher notes, \u201cRomantic love is one of the most addictive substances on earth.\u201d<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/wp-content\/uploads\/image\/FotoFlexer_Photo343%281%29.jpg?resize=232%2C205&ssl=1\")
immune to the experience, and has made all of the same mistakes most of us have.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.spokeo.com\/compass\/wp-content\/uploads\/image\/FotoFlexer_Photoassfdasfd%282%29.jpg?resize=240%2C215&ssl=1\")
hich persons express four different neurotransmitters and hormones in the body upon choosing their romantic partners. The particular chemical agents the research is tracking are dopamine, estrogen, serotonin and testosterone, each of which, whether on its own or in some combination, has been known to be closely linked to feelings of wellbeing, sex and love. Fisher hopes to be able to better gauge why people choose one person over another based upon how partners in romantic matches express these agents relative to their prospective mates.<\/p>\n