So you’re on a great date. He’s charming, he listens, he’s funny. Everything is going swimmingly, but you just can’t shake the feeling that something’s…off. He is hiding something from you. Then you start to wonder: is he married?
The signs of cheating are not always obvious, and for married men they are sometimes more subtle to catch. If you’re worried he hasn’t told you about his wife or family, you can always just come right out and ask. It may seem like a weird question, but infidelity isn’t that uncommon. If you don’t want to ask, here are some tips to find out if he’s married.
Has He Invited You to Meet His Friends?
If you’ve been on a few dates and you can’t paint a mental picture of any of his friends, something is wrong. He should be talking about people other than his co-workers and you.
It’s possible there may be special circumstance, like if he just moved to town, but chances are he is hiding something by not letting you get closer.
Before you get too suspicious, be sure you’re at the right place to have heard about his friends. The third or fourth date should be plenty of time.
If he hasn’t brought them up, it may be because he doesn’t want them to meet you. If he is cheating, he will do anything to keep you on the side and his wife and family in the dark.
Has He Invited You To His Place?
If you’re always going back to your place, or to a room, or just never coming home at all – that should be a red flag. The common excuses (too dirty, too busy, too far away) only make sense for a while. Eventually he’s gotta clean his apartment up!
If you ask and he becomes defensive or evasive, be very wary. This is a telltale sign of cheating on a wife and family – there’s simply no way you will ever be allowed in.
Check for a Ring
He’s not going to be wearing a ring on dates with you, but men don’t think about tan lines or indentations from where a snug ring has been sitting all day. He may even keep the ring in his wallet, pocket, or car.
Snooping through his things looking for a ring makes you look like a crazy person, but if you see a spot on his left ring finger, you’ll be crazy like a fox.
Does He Hide His Phone?
Another classic sign of a cheater, hiding his phone during meals, shows and dates may be a red flag. It may also mean you’ve found a great guy that knows how to be polite.
If he manages to leave his phone out, you may want to check to see if there are any strange numbers calling him all of the time. It would be very odd for a man to change his wife or kids’ names in his phone – if you see someone with his same last name, that’s a dead giveaway. If you can see the number, perform a reverse phone lookup and see just who it is.
How To Check if Someone is Married
If you want to find out, but don’t want to ask, check his marriage records using an online background check. Marriage records will be on file in the county where he got married, so pick the most likely country and work out from there.
Remember, a marriage certificate won’t show divorce or separation dates. Also check for divorce records or even death certificates and match the times so you’ve got the best evidence.
Does He Always Take Calls During Dates?
If he’s got a wife at home, and she calls, do you think he will just keep ignoring her? If he takes calls during dates and promptly dashes off out of earshot, that’s a big red flag.
Sure, maybe it is a work or a needy friend, but who would rather deal with that than pay attention to you?
Odd Hours for Dates
A man with a family has a lot of duties and obligations. If he always ignores spontaneous dates, last minute walks in the park, or weekend dates, there is something seriously wrong.
If you’re dating, you have to learn each other’s schedules and if his rules out a weekend and evening hours, hear warning bells. Maybe he does have a strange schedule, but it might also be his kids’ football and piano lessons he’s working around.
What To Do If He’s Cheating
How you handle it is up to you – and him. Most people would urge you to end it and walk away. If that isn’t going to work, at least know what you’re getting into. You could find out more about his family by using a people search service to see his wife’s criminal records, marriage and divorce records, and social media profiles.