Dating online has a lot of advantages, but those same conveniences make it just as easy to dump someone without ever having a conversation about it. Getting ghosted can hurt. You don’t know why, you don’t have any say in it – it can be hurtful and leave you wanting real closure.
Are you being ghosted? Here’s how to find out.
Dead Air for Days
If someone is into you, they’ll always find a way to communicate, even if their phone is broken or floating in a toilet. If they’re really excited about you, they’ll text you right away, especially in the early days of a relationship. Dead air means they just aren’t into you.
Who's Calling Me?
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This is the easiest way to tell if you’re being ghosted. If dead air comes out of nowhere, that’s really harsh. Usually you reach this point after several weeks of ‘I’m just so busy,’ or ‘my phone has been acting up.’ Yeah right.
They Blocked You
Have they vanished on social media? Are you blocked or are they just avoiding you? You can usually see when someone logged on to a site like Facebook, check to see if they’ve seen your messages sent in chat, or if they’re interacting with other people. If someone you’ve been on a few dates with has blocked you on social media – you can tell if they just simply vanish and you can’t find them at all with a search – you’ve the answer you need. Move on.
If they’re just slow in getting back to you, they may not be that interested in you or they may just be slow. Give it some time, if you want, or dig deeper and see if they’re interacting with someone else online – liking other posts, photos, etc.
They’re Sending Excuses Rather than Texts
Busy schedules happen, especially with certain jobs. They may not be able to get away to call you or text you – imagine dating a nurse, attorney, or teacher. They can’t just fire off a text during work hours. But after work they should be really excited to contact you!
Tread carefully with this one, because if you’re dating someone that really is busy and you hold that against them, that’s not going to make you any more endearing. However, if they’re always busy, and simply ‘forget to call’ then they may not be that interested in you. It may be time to move on.
Check Out Their Number
You can always run their number, email address, or just name through a reverse number lookup tool. This will show you social media accounts tied to that number. You can use this info to figure out if they’ve got other profiles they’re using to avoid (or play) you. As a bonus, this will reveals some public records – like criminal records and convictions.
If you are getting ghosted, and you’ve only been a few dates, chasing the person down and demanding an explanation isn’t going to make any difference. What’s the point? Move on! But if you’re getting ghosted but the relationship has been going on for a while, that’s a lot different. That’s hurtful and is going to require more effort.
Ghosting is part of our digital world, arm yourself with some knowledge and tools and know when you’re being dumped.