If you thought the apartment situation in New York City was shocking, wait until you start dating. With women outnumbering men by 400,000 in the city, many single ladies find themselves under unfair pressure to be on top of their game just to find a match. Though the New York City dating scene is significantly less glamorous than on-screen depictions like “Sex and the City” would suggest, thankfully you don’t need an Upper East Side address or a weekly column to find Mr. Big. On the bright side, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. Follow these 7 tips for safe, successful dating in New York City.
Let the Apps Do the Work
There’s just no time in New York City to meet a stranger’s gaze across a crowded room or busy street. Even if you did click, you’d probably find that they were here on vacation. So instead of hoping to bump into your perfect partner, you’re going to have to let the online dating apps play Cupid for you. Perfect your dating app profile(s), and start searching for someone who meets your criteria. Then wait for the notifications to begin.
Put a people search engine to work too. Once you’ve found a potential match, a search through billions of records will confirm if your potential date is authentic, safe and serious. A simple name search can reveal vital details relating to your new suitor’s criminal history or dating profile activity, making it your key defense against the crooks who prey on the same apps you’re using to find love.
Fill Your Calendar With Dates
There’s a tacit understanding in New York City dating that everyone is keeping their options open until they’re not, so if you want to test the waters with several dates on the go at the same time, it’s acceptable. As long as you’re open with people you’re actively dating, nobody’s feelings will get hurt, especially yours. Bear in mind that among your Big Apple roster, you may pick up some bad apples who turn out to be scammers, catfishers or even married.
If your new online connection is exhibiting telltale signs of catfishing, consider sourcing a reverse phone number search engine to verify their digits match the name, age, gender and photos advertised on their dating profile.
Keep It Casual
Choose somewhere to meet that is low key and casual, like a neighborhood bar that you trust. Arranging to meet on top of the Empire State Building or at Tiffany’s marks you out as an NYC noob. Likewise, if your date says he’ll meet you in Times Square, you might want to reschedule. Museums and art galleries, on the other hand, can be great for a date, especially the quirkier ones.
Learn To Enjoy First Dates
There may be more first dates than you prefer. In such an ambitious, fast-moving city, a common complaint is that relationships struggle to develop. Finding someone who matches your interests, goals, pace and values can be exhausting, which is also why it’s important to set your expectations and define any relationships that do develop. If you think it’s a casual fling and he’s getting ready to propose, things could get awkward. The more you date, the less you’ll treat each one like an interview. Who knows? You may even start to enjoy them.
Know Your Boundaries
We’re talking about location here. It’s simply not feasible to date throughout New York City’s four boroughs (or five if you include Staten Island). At some point you will have to decide how far you will go on a first date, and the answer may be Midtown. The longer you’ve lived in the city, the fewer the number of subway stops you’ll be prepared to travel. Inwood to Richmond Hill on the A-train? That’s true love.
Set a Budget
Brace yourself for the nation’s most expensive dating scene, where a swanky dinner for two can set you back $565. Your budget will not go far if every first date is a dinner, and you’ll regret spending precious rent money on any awkward encounters where you can’t wait to leave. Stick to coffee or happy hour until you’ve found a keeper. Should you split the bill? Bear in mind that women under 30 typically outearn men in the city, so your crypto entrepreneur or Wall Street intern may well be hoping that you’ll cover the tab.
First Date Safety
Like any major metropolis, New York City attracts its fair share of catfishers, opportunists and weirdos. If you are arranging a date, let someone know where you’ll be and who you’ll be with. If you’re not sure about the latter, run their name through Spokeo’s reverse phone number lookup tool to verify key identity details like name, age and marital status. Have an exit strategy if you’re getting bad vibes, and take your own cab or Uber if you’re going home alone.
Whatever you’ve heard about dating in New York City, along with the warnings we’ve featured here, remember that the “nothing ventured, nothing gained” maxim applies the same here as anywhere else. Any proud New Yorker would swear that the city offers the most attractive, successful and funny potential partners you could wish for, so don’t be too shy to put it to the test.