Mate poaching, homewrecking, boyfriend-stealing – it’s a phenomenon that’s been around for a long time, but now research shows that up to 90% of women are attracted to married men. Why are women so attracted to married men? There are some theories but no real answers.
Here’s the science on mate-poaching and how to tell if youe man is falling for a homewrecker.
Mate Copying and Mate Poaching
There are two ideas that are related but very, very different. The idea of mate copying is a well documented idea in science. It has been observed in all sorts of animals, from wolves and monkeys to people. Mate copying is easy to understand.
Imagine your friend is dating a guy. You don’t really care about him one or the other – at first. But after spending some time around them, you start to notice his great qualities. Maybe it’s his laugh, or how quick he is with a joke. And you realize, even if it is subconsciously, that he’s got to be a catch because your friend likes him and you’re a lot like your friend. You don’t really pay attention to the fact that the next guy you date is quick with a joke and has a similar laugh.
This is called mate copying, but if you start to take time to actually steal him away then you’ve crossed the line into mate poaching.
Why Are Married Men More Appealing?
The short answer is: you’ve done the hard work of pre-screening a man to make sure he’s marrying material. The ironic thing is, most women that are mate-poaching aren’t looking for a husband – they’re looking for something between a fling and a no-strings-attached lover.
- Married men have proven they can handle commitment.
- Married men are more likely to be healthy, employed, and confident.
- A woman doesn’t have to answer to a married man and explain why she’s spending time with other guys.
- Married people are more likely be confident and compassionate.
- If he has kids, he’s proven he can be a good father – a major turn on.
Is He Cheating On You?
If your husband or boyfriend is getting a lot of attention from one woman, you are probably right to be worried. Is he actually doing anything about it? That’s the real question. If 9 out of 10 women are attracted to taken men, you’re no doubt going to face some competition if you’re in a committed relationship.
You can be direct and just ask him, and see how he responds. Or you can find one of those numbers on his phone (or phone bill) and use a reverse lookup tool to see who the number belongs too. If it’s someone you don’t know, maybe there’s something going on.
He might be trying to keep a mate poacher from you not because he’s cheating, but because it is embarrassing, confusing, and awkward. Those 90 percent of women that like a married man? Well, only 59% wanted the same man when they found out he was single.
Your man might be as confused as you are – he’s suddenly desirable and the only thing that changed was you.
What to Do If You’re Being Targeted by a Mate Poacher
Don’t ignore it, don’t let it go. Talk to your husband or boyfriend, even confront the would be hunter. What might start as flirting can turn into something else if it goes too far – and it almost always will.
Men aren’t immune to the effects of a ring either, and they’re more likely to act on it. In the end, affairs rarely work out. People are people, not fantasies – no one can live up to their own imaginary selves. If you think something is budding between your husband or boyfriend and another woman, don’t ignore the warning signs – be proactive and protect your relationship.