by Spokeo

Is He Cheating? How to Find Out

And if so, why?

Gossip sites and social media always have a feeding frenzy when news of celebrity infidelity breaks. This was witnessed most recently in the cheating scandal involving NBA star Tristan Thompson and his pregnant girlfriend Khloe Kardashian, in which the Cleveland Cav was caught by several pesky paparazzi kissing and leaving hotel rooms with several women who were demonstrably not pregnant girlfriend Khloe Kardashian.

Khloe has since given birth to a girl, named, somewhat ironically, True, and has also broken her silence and responded to critics in the media.

Do Men Really Cheat More?

Most studies suggest that the answer is indeed yes. According to the Institute for Family Studies, about 20% of married men have admitted to cheating at least once. Only 13% of married women have admitted the same.

The same studies suggest that numbers fluctuate with age: for example, men and women ages 18-39 are equally likely to cheat. However, older men cheat far more often than women after 40. On the whole, men do hold the dubious distinction of being more unfaithful. 

Why Do Men Cheat?

Men cheat for a variety of reasons. According to Robert Weiss of Psychology Today, there are at least thirteen factors, including:

  • Emotional immaturity
  • Unrealistic expectations (of how partner should treat him or look)
  • Selfishness

But the decision to cheat is just that: a decision, a choice. Too often in the wake of infidelity, the victim feels that they were somehow to blame for their partner’s choice. Yet, this is entirely not the case.  

Signs That He’s Cheating

If you’re asking yourself “Is he cheating?”, then there’s probably a reason. It’s always good to trust your instincts.

We recently wrote about some of the classic “tells” that give away a cheating partner, some of which are:

  • Being distant
  • Spending longer hours at work or “out with friends”
  • Withholding physical intimacy
  • Changing their appearance
  • Spending more time on their phone texting

If you’ve noticed at least one of these behaviors, then you may be wondering what to do next.

Empower Yourself

Since it’s safe to say that your boyfriend or husband is not a celebrity, he won’t be caught by TMZ. This leaves it all in your hands.

Take control and do a little research. If they’ve been spending a lot of time smirking at their phone screens, or you’ve noticed strange numbers on a shared phone plan, search unknown phone numbers to get name, location and more.

If that doesn’t turn up anything, you can also search their email address using a people search engine to see any publicly available social media profiles (including accounts on dating sites) associated with that email address. At least 10% of affairs begin online. Perhaps they’re chatting up someone on a dating site, or have a Facebook profile they don’t want you to know about.

A New Beginning

Discovering the truth can be painful, but for most women it’s the first necessary step to a happier, healthier life. Let that life begin today.