How to Find Love in the Military

While online dating has made connecting with new people easier than ever, finding the right partner with whom you can build a lasting relationship is still a tall order – especially for those serving in the military.

Service Members and Online Dating

Compared to civilians, military servicemen and women often have an even tougher time trying to find a long-term partner via online dating sites. While there are a few different reasons as to why, in general the civilian matches they make online are less willing to open themselves up to someone whom they know may have to relocate to a different state, go on deployment or generally just has less flexibility than a civilian partner might.

It’s true that online dating on the whole can be a frustrating experience, regardless of whether or not those participating serve. That said, there’s no debating that the recent growth in popularity of military dating sites has resulted in a boom in the number of successful military relationships.

Here are some of the factors that make military dating sites stand apart from the rest:

  • These military dating websites are more organized than other dating sites because the sites are designed to be used by service members
  • The dating sites offer an effective way to branch out from hookup apps and local bars and to connect with people who share similar values
  • The military dating websites are for mature people looking to find their ideal soul-mates online. For instance, most military dating sites are for people within the average age range of 25–55. Teenagers or individuals aiming just to hook-up might not find these sites more effective than other dating sites.
  • They have in-built matchmaking services, personality test features to enable you to streamline your dating experience.

Pros of Military Dating Websites

There are various army dating sites that provide the perfect platform for like-minded and value-oriented people within the military. This is possible due to some of their features and enhancements. Some features that make these services more reliable include:

  • Most online dating sites offer different sorts of personality testing and matching. Such matching can help connect people with dating partners who might be more compatible.
    • For instance, at EliteSingles, every new member is required to take a comprehensive personality test during registration. They classify individuals into personality classes based on the British Costa and McCrae’s famous Five Factor Model.
    • This model is able to measure your openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness extroversion, and neuroticism. The results of this intelligent match-making system can then be used to find the most compatible matches for you.
  • As a busy service member, you tend to have less flexibility when it comes to time. Military online dating offers the opportunity to spend less time trying to figure out if a prospective partner is someone you really want to use your valuable time to date. With the personality test result, one can tell if the people the site connects you with are worth your time quickly after first making contact.
  • Shy and introverted people will find this to be quite useful. As the military online dating dynamic helps both parties create a level of familiarity and comfort between them even before they eventually get to meet.

Online communication is designed to create an initial connection between two potential parties, serving as a means to set the initial foundation for a friendship and, hopefully, a romantic relationship. That said, it can’t guarantee the success of any connections it makes.

To make effective use of online communication, you need to keep the initial online conversation focused on finding out the basics such as the person’s likes and dislikes before setting up an actual date. Taking some time to think about what your own relationship deal breakers are is very important at this part of the process to save both your own time and theirs.

Generally, a few short in-app messages or quick texts will suffice to figure out if it’s worth taking the next step. Long introductory emails may be counterproductive and off-putting too. After all, you’ve got to save some of your life stories for the date!

Cons of Army Dating Sites

  • Scams and catfishing on military dating sites are highly sophisticated in order to take advantage of those who may be feeling isolated and lonely. No longer are fake profiles and identities lacking on details and information, friends, or activity which historically enabled them to be avoided easily.
    • You can use Spokeo to look up any US citizen’s by first and last name, email address or phone number in order to attempt to learn more about them. Your search may help you verify whether or not the connection you’ve made is a real person or simply an invention of an online catfish.
  • Matching may neglect potentially great partners in the process of getting perfect fits. Algorithms can’t fully account for the variety of human interest and change in people themselves over time.
  • Communication via digital means is less effective than an old-fashioned face-to-face interaction, meaning it is more difficult to assess your connection with someone online than in real life.
    • Likewise, a portion of the cues and features that ensures attraction (like touching) can’t be practiced through a computer. Along these lines, such computer-aided communication may lack genuine and real emotional quality.
  • While there’s not yet any evidence to support this, it’s been hypothesized that foreign countries could target military dating sites as a means of remotely spying on the US. With the growing threat of cyber warfare, it’s possible that hostile operatives could use online army dating sites as a means of getting classified information.

Should You Use Military Dating Sites?

The bottom line: if you’re a service member, using a military dating site may be the best way to find the right partner for you.

It’s certainly not a guarantee, by any means, but if you’ve been frustrated with dating in real life or via civilian dating sites and apps, it’s absolutely worth a try. There are all kinds of great options out there – check out this list of the “11 Best Free Military Dating Sites” of 2019 in order to decide where you should begin.

If you’re new to online dating, it’s important to note that it is not an instant, magic solution to finding love. It should not be used as the be-all and end-all.

What we’re saying, in essence, is that you shouldn’t just jump into seriously, exclusively dating someone you met online just because they were suggested by a military dating site algorithm. Take your time. Do your best to get to know them over a few weeks or even months so you can better evaluate whether or not there’s any long-term potential there. Try to go on dates with multiple connections before settling down and giving it a try with one exclusively.

While you’re sorting through those potential connections, just be sure to adhere to the following cybersecurity rules to avoid being scammed online:

  • Do not open suspicious texts, pop-up windows or click on links or attachments in emails.
  • Keep your mobile devices and computers secure.
  • Review your privacy and security settings on social media.
  • Beware of any requests for your details or money.

Good luck!