With infidelity or extramarital affairs being the cause of 34% of divorces across the U.S, it seems that unfortunately cheating is a more common occurrence between partners than many of us would like to admit.
To understand just how prevalent cheating and infidelity is across the country, a Spokeo survey delved into how many of us admit to being unfaithful on our other halves, and the main causes for affairs.
The research surveyed over 1,000 U.S. adults to understand how many have been the victim and perpetrator of cheating, and where the most common places for temptation are. The majority, 81.6%, of those surveyed were married, 10% were in a committed relationship and 5% were single and never married.
Who's Calling Me?
Search any phone number to learn more about the owner!
Key findings
- More than two in five (44.3%) Americans have cheated on their partner
- The most common reason for cheating was ‘I liked the attention’ (22.1%)
- One in five (20.4%) cheated on their partner because they suspected their partner of cheating – the 2nd most common reason
- Nearly one in five people have signed up for a dating app (18.7%) while in a relationship
- Almost a quarter (23.7%) of respondents have gone through their partner’s phone and messages
- Unfaithful partners are most likely to cheat with an ex partner (20.9%), even if Americans are most tempted to cheat with their co-workers (38.4%)
- Over half (54.5%) believe a relationship can recover from cheating
Over half of U.S. adults have been the victim of cheating
The research has found that, shockingly, over two in five (44.3%) admit to cheating on an existing or previous partner, while half (50%) have been the victim of cheating or suspect they have been cheated on.
When asked what drove the participants to cheat on their partner, over one in five (22.1%) admitted it was due to liking the attention given by the third party, while 20.4% admitted their infidelity was due to them suspecting their partner was cheating or had cheated on them. A further 18.5% had an affair for revenge.
The most common reasons for why respondents cheating on their partners were:
Other excuses provided by the respondents included immaturity and military deployment.
Almost one in five would define liking or responding to messages as cheating
What is defined as acceptable or unacceptable by partners differs between couples, and it is important to understand what the boundaries are for each relationship. To understand what would be considered as cheating, the research provided respondents with a range of scenarios and asked them what would be classed as being unfaithful.
Nearly one in five people have signed up for a dating app while in a relationship
Outside of physical acts, the research looked at other behaviors from both cheating or suspecting partners to understand what we find unacceptable, and how many admit to doing them while being in a relationship.
Signing up to dating apps were the most frowned upon activity, with over a third (34.4%) claiming that it would be unacceptable from someone in a relationship with – however, a shocking 18.7% admitted to signing up to one while in a relationship.
Messaging someone on social media in a suggestive way was the second most unacceptable activity, with 32.4% of respondents finding this unacceptable. Unfortunately, almost one in five (19.6%) admit to sending messages on a social network.
While nearly one in five (19.4%) admit to not answering their phone and messages while out, 16.8% found this behavior unacceptable.
The unacceptable behavior most frowned upon, according to the research, are:
| Behaviors | Percentage who have committed this behavior whilst in a relationship |
|---|---|
| Signing up to dating apps | 18.7% |
| Messaging other people on social media in a suggestive way | 19.6% |
| Liking other people’s photos on social media in a suggestive way | 21% |
| Gaslighting | 6.9% |
| Changing passwords or phone passcodes | 13.9% |
| Not answering the phone and messages while out | 19.4% |
Almost a quarter of respondents have gone through their partner’s phone and messages
With the research finding that cheating has affected half of couples, it is unsurprising that around a quarter (23.7%) have tried to find evidence of infidelity by going through their partners phone and messages – although this activity should be approached with caution, as 28% of those surveyed would find this unacceptable behavior.
Some suspecting partners have taken their suspicions one step further, with 14.2% using a GPS tracker to trace their partner, and 6.8% admit to employing a private detective to uncover infidelities. Looking up a partner online was the most accepted behavior, with 93% respondents claiming they would find this acceptable. Interestingly, just one in eight (12.4%) admit to doing this.
The unacceptable behavior most frowned upon, according to the research, are:
| Behavior | Percentage who find this unacceptable | Percentage who have done this while being in a relationship |
|---|---|---|
| Going through phone and messages | 28% | 23.7% |
| Accusing of cheating | 24.5% | 19.6% |
| Using a GPS tracker to trace your partner | 24% | 14.2% |
| Looking them up online | 7% | 12.4% |
Unfaithful partners are most likely to cheat with an ex partner
When those who cheated on their partner were asked who the third party was, one in five (20.9%) seemingly have gone back to the familiarity of an ex partner. Work colleagues (18.4%) and someone they met online (18.3%) were also popular choices for those tempted into an affair.
Interestingly, work colleagues topped the poll for the group people were most tempted to cheat on their partner with. With many U.S adults spending around 40 hours a week with their colleagues, it is no surprise that emotional and, sometimes, physical connections are built.
People are most likely to cheat at a party
When asked where the cheating took place, one in five (20.9%) were unfaithful at a party, with online chat rooms (19.6%) and at work (18.9%) also hotspots for cheating. People were most tempted to cheat while on holiday, with over a third (37.2%) admitting they have thought about cheating on a partner while away from home.
The most common locations for cheating, according to the research, are:
| Where meet people to cheat with | Percentage who have cheated with them | Percentage who have been tempted to cheat with them |
|---|---|---|
| At a party | 20.9% | 35.9% |
| I’d known them for a long time prior | 20.4% | 35.9% |
| Online chat room or through messaging | 19.6% | 35.8% |
| At work | 18.9% | 37.1% |
| On holiday | 18.7% | 37.2% |
| In a bar or nightclub | 18.7% | 36.5% |
| At a work Christmas party | 17.4% | 35.1% |
| On a bachelor / bachelorette party | 17.3% | 36.5% |
| At a sport event | 16.9% | 35.2% |
| At a concert | 16.7% | 36.8% |
| While working away | 15.7% | 36.9% |
Over half (54.5%) believe a relationship can recover from cheating
When asked if they thought a relationship can recover from one of the partners cheating, over half (54.5%) believe that it is possible to get the partnership back on track. In fact, two in five (40.1%) claim that a relationship has survived cheating. Three in ten (31.7%) relationships couldn’t survive the trust being broken, while just under one in ten (9.4%) of partners didn’t find or hadn’t found out about the extramarital affairs.
However it seems that it is possible to forgive some behaviors more than others. Nearly two in five (38.1%) felt like they could forgive a partner messaging other people in a suggestive way, less than a third could forgive them if they signed up for a dating app (28.5%) or kissed someone else (28.3%). Unsurprisingly, having sex with another person was the behavior that most people felt a relationship couldn’t recover from, with over half (54.5%) believing a relationship can never come back from.
The behaviors the respondents felt relationships could and couldn’t recover from were:
| Behavior | Relationship can recover | Relationship can’t recover | Not sure/don’t class as cheating |
|---|---|---|---|
| Messaging other people in a suggestive way | 38.1% | 31.4% | 30.4% |
| Liking other photos in a suggestive way | 37.9% | 40.1% | 21.8% |
| Flirting with other people | 30.8% | 40.8% | 28.3% |
| Signing up for dating apps | 28.5% | 47.3% | 24.1% |
| Kissing someone else | 28.3% | 48.1% | 23.4% |
| Building emotional connections with someone else / emotionally cheating | 28.1% | 46% | 25.8% |
| Sexually touching someone else | 22.6% | 49.3% | 27.7% |
| Having sex with someone else | 21.1% | 54.5% | 24.2% |
Want to see if your partner has online dating profiles and may be cheating? By using something as simple as your partner’s email address, phone number or username, the Spokeo platform can find dating profiles they have and even aliases they may have used with to create those profiles in order to avoid detection.
Explore Spokeo’s email tool or phone number tools here: Email Lookup Tool and Phone Lookup Tool
Methodology
We surveyed 1,158 Americans through Amazon’s survey platform in October 2023 about topics relating to relationships and infidelity. Of those surveyed, 81.6% were married, 10% were in a committed relationship and 5% were single and never married. Over three quarters (77.8%) are parents.
The breakdown of the people we surveyed was as follows:
Age Ranges:
- 18-24 – 4%
- 25-34 – 37%
- 35-44 – 44.7%
- 45-54 – 8.3%
- 55-64 – 4.2%
- 65+ – 1.6%
Gender:
- Female – 44%
- Male – 54.9%
- Non-binary – 0.9%