Infidelity remains a painful fact of life for millions of men and women every day. No matter who’s doing it or when, the outward signs of unfaithful behavior are the same, and knowing when to spot signs of cheating could help you take control of a toxic situation and save you months (or years) of emotional torture.
The Demographics of Cheating
Cheaters come in all genders, ages, shapes and sizes. As for who cheats more, some data does seem to confirm the popular notion that men do in fact cheat more often, but it really depends on who you ask. According to the Institute for Family Studies, for example, about 20% of married men have admitted to cheating at least once. Only 13% of married women have admitted the same.
Another study from the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, however, suggests in fact that women are now cheating just as much as men. Along those same lines, the National Opinion Research Center found the number of married women who have reported cheating on their husbands has risen 40% since 1990 (wives still cheat less often than husbands, however).
Whatever the reason for these changes in the “demographics of cheating”, the modus operandi of the cheater always remains the same.
7 Cheating Red Flags
No, you’re not going crazy. Most cheaters give themselves away with more than one of the following “tells,” and it’s not wrong that you’re feeling suspicious. Trust your instincts, because it’s up to you to spot them. Here are 7 of the most common cheating red flags:
1. They’re acting distant.
This is one of the most common traits of a cheating partner. Perhaps they seem to be emotionally “pulling away,” or they are more quiet or disinterested around you.
2. They’re spending more time away.
Cheaters need time and space to develop another relationship, and this can be accomplished by telling you they’re “working late” or out with friends. Try grilling them on what exactly they’re working on or who they’re meeting and see how they respond. If they snap at you or give contradictory stories, you’re likely on to something.
3. They withhold physical intimacy.
If you’re having trouble getting much more than a side-hug or a kiss on the cheek, or you’ve noticed your sex life has taken a dive into the void, this is almost always a clear sign that there is something wrong.
4. They’re spending more time on their appearance.
It’s not uncommon for unfaithful partners to completely alter their appearance in hopes of impressing their new flame. Coming home with frosted tips, facial hair and a new flashy outfit is a dead giveaway.
5. They’re spending more time on their phone.
Cheaters conduct their affairs in secret. If you notice your partner quicky hiding their cell phone when you enter the room, you could have a problem.
If you’ve seen a strange number on their phone, or generally worry they may be texting a secret flame, you can search unknown phone numbers using a people search engine to get name, location and more.
6. They are suddenly interested in your schedule
“Hey, what time are you gonna be home tonight?”
“What time do you get off work?”
“What are your weekend plans?”
Cheaters want to know where you’re gonna be so they can plan their escapades around you without getting caught. This is especially noticeable when they are failing to show interest in anything else about you.
7. They’re criticizing you more
If you’ve noticed your partner being extra critical about you, that may be a sign that they’re trying to cut ties. What’s actually happening is that they are trying to push you away by inventing problems that aren’t there. Don’t take it personal, however harsh they may be.
Taking the Next Step
Discovering the sordid truth about infidelity can be one of the most traumatic experiences of your life. Thankfully, there’s always a way to get your life back on track.
One of the most important things to remember is this: it’s not your fault. They’ve failed you, and not the other way around. You deserve only the best, and taking control of your life and empowering yourself with the truth is the best first step you can take.
You’ve got this.