One of the unfortunate truths about relationships is that while someone might initially be committed to you, your partner’s behaviour might change for the worse over the course of your relationship. Whether these negative patterns come from her own personal insecurities, distrust in you as a partner or maybe even just plain spite, cheating is one of the most painful outcomes. To protect yourself from a cheating significant other, there are a few steps you can take that will help you catch some of the signs she is cheating.
Cheaters have recognizable behavior patterns that you can spot fairly easily — if you know what red flags to look for. In this post, we’ll provide an overview of common signals your partner might (unwittingly) show if she’s being unfaithful so you can start training your eagle eye to spot the warning signs. We’ll also give you an extra digital upper hand with some helpful digital tools you can use across your devices to protect yourself — and your heart — from an unfaithful spouse or girlfriend.
People who cheat often have similar signs in their behavior that signal they might be having an affair, here are a few of the most common.
1. They are overly protective of their devices
It’s one thing if your girlfriend is on her phone often; it’s another if she doesn’t let it out of her sight. If your girlfriend gets jumpy when you come near her phone, this can be a sign that she is trying to hide the fact that she’s communicating with somebody else. Even if she’s not outwardly texting or taking calls, she might have a few apps downloaded that will hide her secret illicit communications. To see if this is the case, ask to see her phone to try and find a photo you remember her taking, and watch her reaction. If she gives you the phone immediately and doesn’t ask questions, this can be a good sign.
2. They don’t invite you out with their friends
If your girlfriend gets oddly shifty about inviting you out to meet her when she goes out with her friends, this can be a red flag that she’s cheating on you. This can happen because she might exhibit cheating behaviors when she’s out at bars, such as flirting with other people publicly, or she might be lying about who she is meeting to begin with. Remember that while a girls night out is necessary now and then, your partner should want to spend time with you. Repeatedly not inviting you to places where flirting behavior is common can be a definite red flag.
If her social media habits have changed around these outings as well (i.e., she’s not sharing as many Instagram stories as usual), that may be another sign that she is attempting to hide cheating behavior.
3. Your partner is less interested in physical contact with you
Has PDA or intimacy come to a complete halt in your relationship? When a significant other is cheating on you, her interest in physical contact with you might dwindle. Whether it’s because she is experiencing guilt over the fact that she’s being unfaithful or because she’s attracted to somebody else, avoiding physical contact can be an indicator of having an affair.
4. Your partner does not make time for you or your relationship
Has your girlfriend canceled plans with you recently in a way that’s been last-minute, or has she made excuses to see other people on nights you had previously committed to? Avoiding plans to spend time together can indicate that her interests lie with someone else. On the flip side, if your girlfriend is suddenly extra-interested in your schedule, or is constantly checking in about when you’ll be home, this might be a sign she’s trying to make sure you won’t walk in on her “other plans”.
5. Your partner talks about the future differently
Maybe you’ve discussed living together with your partner, or maybe you’ve had conversations about marriage that have seemingly stopped happening. If your girlfriend doesn’t want to talk about your future together, or she sounds insecure about the longevity of your relationship, this can be a red flag that she is cheating. If you’ve seen a shift in how your partner approaches these conversations, dig deeper. Set up space for you to explore what you want for the future, and ask why her priorities have changed. Do your best to stay honest and vulnerable here, doing so will encourage honesty and vulnerability on her end as well.
How to Catch a Cheating Girlfriend Using Technology
Sometimes, despite your eagle eye for red flags in a relationship, a cheating partner might go the extra mile to hide her actions in a way that’s almost impossible to track down. At this point you might find yourself looking for an external source to help you get the peace of mind you need in your relationship. Instead of turning to a friend, you can actually use technology to help trace some of the questionable contacts your girlfriend might be communicating with.
Spokeo offers a feature that helps uncover whether or not your significant other has hidden dating profiles, so any secret accounts they might have in their name will easily pop up through a quick search. Another reverse lookup tool is the Reverse Phone Lookup feature, which allows you to easily plug in an unidentified number and search through a database, which may help you identify who your partner may be communicating with.
Don’t let a cheating partner get away with the unthinkable — and don’t waste your time being frustrated with the unknown. Instead, use a service like Spokeo to expose an unfaithful partner and make time for someone who will treat you and your relationship with the respect you deserve.